Groups of People Found in Church

Church. Its meant to be a family, but if its a family, then there are many different groups found there. Almost how there were many different groups in your High School. I wondered around my church last Sunday and found the following 10 Groups of People in Church. Here is, who they are, and what they do:

  1. First timers / Kinda New People. These are the people who get offered the nice snacks first, get invited out for food, and have chatty people come and talk to them most Sundays. A useful group to be in.
  2. Hospital People. If you find a way to abuse the above to much, then the warden may put you in this group of people….
  3. Worship Leading People. Can normally sing.
  4. Visiting Preaching People. Not normally sure how long a sermon is meant to last.
  5. Childrens Group People. Can normally be found waiting for the Visiting Preaching People to finish.
  6. Useful People. Cant normally be found as they’re busy being useful. The disadvantage is that they are always really busy, and have things to do, their advantage is that they avoid…
  7. List People. They have lists. The lists need to have peoples names on them, such as, who’s going to do the Bible reading, or who’s bringing what to the next Church meal / potluck.
  8. Outgoing Happy People. Mostly popular with “List People”, as the “Outgoing Happy People”, are normally happy to read confidently in front of people, knock on strangers doors, etc. Also known as “Good Christian People”.
  9. Natural Evangelist People. Most happy to knock on strangers doors in the evening.
  10. Young People. Been told to NEVER knock on anyones doors.

Any that I’ve missed?

10 ways to survive a boring sermon(for kids)

Well. In the past we have presented: The Church Sofa Guide To Church: How To Survive A Boring Sermon. While that list contains many nuggets of useful advice, since “Mini Sofa” joined us in the world, I’ve wondered if there is specific advice to help children survive a boring sermon.

Hopefully she’ll find the following useful at somepoint:

  1. Crawl under the seats, and between the legs of the people sitting in them, until you reach the back and freedom!
  2. Chop the bottom out the push chair… Drive it out Flintstones style
  3. Be so hungry you could eat a bible…
  4. When no one is looking… Check if the fire extinguisher really works! (Based on true story)
  5. Do something smelly… See what your parent does.
  6. Make faces at the kids worker during the service. They’ll love it
  7. Is your parent leading the service? Make sure they don’t misbehave by going up front and keeping them company.
  8. Does your church have pews? Bring a car in… those little ledges behind each pew makes a great race track.
  9. Is your parent the hugging, needy type? Demand a hug. When they pick you up… open your mouth and give them back your last meal.
  10. You and a friend, see who can run around the Church hall the fastest! See what happens…

Any we’ve missed?

Debate Tuesday: The “Talky” Bit?


image available from 12 Baskets


Heres a little something for those that have ever been involved with youth clubs.

It seems to be a staple of evangelical church youth clubs that every evening features a “God Slot”… or whatever you want to call it. If you’re not sure what I mean, its the part of the youth club wheres theres normally some sort of Christian input, bible study, or short preach of some kind.

The thing is… What do you do if you have the sort of group that doesn’t want to listen? Do you shout “Shut up, and listen to me. God loves you!

Is having some sort of Christian input a useful expectation on youth group leaders?

Is having a “God Slot” each week helpful?

Weekly RoundUp: The Keep Young People Out Edition

Welcome to this weeks edition of the weekly round up:


Weekly Round Up: The Real #hungergames Edition

Well its a nice day out there, if you fancy taking a break from the March sun, here’s this weeks round up:


*blatant plug of the week

Church Sofa Half Serious Guide To Church: The Children’s Talk

This is the part of the service in which attention is directed towards the kids*, and the person giving the childrens talk tries to use some amazing idea to illustrate an great truth from the Bible.

This can go really very well, and if the person leading the Children’s talk is feeling confident, they may even step it up a gear. They may even try and engage the children (adults are pretending not to listen), by asking questions about a Bible passage.

This has its risks.

Like this one time at a church: After reading the story of Jonah and the whale, the person trying to engage with the kids asks a seemingly simple question :

“Who was thrown from the ship, and into the giant fish”


“His name starts with a J…”

It’s at this point, that an excitable and keen voice pips up:



*Not forgetting the adults who may secretly prefer the children’s talk to the main sermon…