10 MORE ways to create trouble in church… but still being biblical about it!

10 MORE ways to create trouble in church… but being biblical about it!

Sometimes, my mind wonders. Once I wondered about “Wouldn’t it be funny if a particular situation happened”. The thing is, there would have to be a biblical basis for the trouble was created?

That led to the post 10 ways to create trouble in church… but being biblical about it! – After some ideas from @DavidSJAustin on Twitter, I wondered if there more ideas for the Biblically minded trouble maker…

If you are still in a trouble making mood, and looking for more ideas – then check out our following list:

  1. Call down fire from Heaven.*
  2. Busy Church service? Make a hole in your Church roof to ensure people can get a good view of the speaker.**
  3. Answer the criticism of Biblically inaccurate Hollywood movies, by putting on a Biblically accurate live drama of, The Song of Songs.
  4. Bring your sleeping bag to Church. (Dropped down through the ceiling).
  5. Have a fig tree in or near the Church grounds? Take a cutting, plant it properly, and bring it to Church. If anyone asks, explain you are trying to redeem it as you’re worried its cursed.
  6. Bring your donkey to Church.***
  7. Share honey with people at Church. If they ask where it came from, tell them you found it in a lion carcass.
  8. Bring your dead granny to Church and ask the vicar to raise her up.
  9. Church leader preaching on Noah? Get the taps running. ****
  10. Cover yourself in cornflakes and ring a bell, shouting “unclean, unclean”.

*You may get some odd looks if you do this.
** Heavy tools may be needed.
*** Could get messy.
**** Remember, Life jackets could be useful if the doors are shut.*****
***** Are these stars getting silly now?

Obviously the sofa takes no responsibility for anything you do as a result of reading this. Ever.

Any one got other ideas?

The Church Sofa Weekly Roundup – The Getting Millennials into Church? Edition

My regular round up of random things found online this week

Something on Getting Millennials into Church

Foxnews.com has a piece on what churches need to do to engage “millennials”. It seems to be that using technology is key.

In an unrelated piece of news, the guys behind the ChurcHome app have published a piece on Foxnews.com.

Something not funny…

Sojo.net have made an interesting argument as to why Christian Nationalism is destroying America.

Something to watch…

This weeks theological Twitter low point…

Well.

Submissions are open for something a little more positive for next week…

Them: Live biblically

Every now and then, Twitter plays a game. Recently a game has been played which I’ll call “Live biblically”.

I don’t know how “Live Biblically” started, but it seems to be based around people being told to live biblically, then actually thinking about what it means. (In their own personal opinion…)

Here’s some some of my favourites…

Have a look over at Twitter for… quite a few more.

For a slightly different take, check out the What Would Jesus Do Generator.

Being Bored At A Christian Festival

Being Bored at a Christian Festival

We’ve all been there. You know everyone is having fun, but you cant help but feel a little bored.
For some reason you can’t find anything to occupy your brain with.
Well, when you’re away from home, this can be rubbish. Therefore The Church Sofa has put together this little wheel spinner, to help you decide what to do, if you’re bored at a Christian Festival.

Any you would add?

10 Things To Do When You Really Dont Want To Go To Church

Do you ever find yourself laying there in bed on a Sunday morning, thinking that you just don’t want to go to Church? We all get moments like this…  at least we hope it isn’t just us. But if you find yourself not wanting to do Church. Please find below our ten top tips on what to do in this situation.
And please remember, as always, that we cannot be held responsible if any of these tips end up with you either going to hospital, losing your job, dying, being molested by squirrels, or anything else you might find unpleasant, oh and going to church.
  1. Stay in bed, its warm there. Its cold outside.
  2. Consider playing football…
  3. Sit on the sofa, watch match of the day again and drink a beer (we know it’s early, but you do get wine at church…)
  4. Netflix. Binge Watch. Repeat.
  5. Its a sunny morning. Get outside. Enjoy it.
  6. *Snooze*
  7. Check out Church Live on Twitter. Actually all joking aside, you should probably do that anyway. Its a fairly awesome project that is aiming to broadcast services from different churches using the Periscope app.
  8. Make use of that gym membership you paid for ages ago
  9. Turn up for church for coffee at the end and pretend that you’d been there the whole time (please note: you may need to read the notice sheet from last week just in case someone questions you about the sermon i.e. the preacher)
  10. Just go to Church. It might do your soul some good. But no promises.
Any other ideas to add to the above?

The Church Sofa Awards 2014

Welcome to the fifth edition of The Church Sofa Awards.

This is where we celebrate the best and sometimes worse moments of 2014, featured both on this blog and around the internet. Obviously the standard rules apply, no actual awards will be given out or indeed harmed during these proceedings.

New this year is the Hero of The World Award

But The first award is…

Continue reading “The Church Sofa Awards 2014”