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10 MORE ways to create trouble in church… but still being biblical about it!

10 MORE ways to create trouble in church… but being biblical about it!

Sometimes, my mind wonders. Once I wondered about “Wouldn’t it be funny if a particular situation happened”. The thing is, there would have to be a biblical basis for the trouble was created?

That led to the post 10 ways to create trouble in church… but being biblical about it! – After some ideas from @DavidSJAustin on Twitter, I wondered if there more ideas for the Biblically minded trouble maker…

If you are still in a trouble making mood, and looking for more ideas – then check out our following list:

  1. Call down fire from Heaven.*
  2. Busy Church service? Make a hole in your Church roof to ensure people can get a good view of the speaker.**
  3. Answer the criticism of Biblically inaccurate Hollywood movies, by putting on a Biblically accurate live drama of, The Song of Songs.
  4. Bring your sleeping bag to Church. (Dropped down through the ceiling).
  5. Have a fig tree in or near the Church grounds? Take a cutting, plant it properly, and bring it to Church. If anyone asks, explain you are trying to redeem it as you’re worried its cursed.
  6. Bring your donkey to Church.***
  7. Share honey with people at Church. If they ask where it came from, tell them you found it in a lion carcass.
  8. Bring your dead granny to Church and ask the vicar to raise her up.
  9. Church leader preaching on Noah? Get the taps running. ****
  10. Cover yourself in cornflakes and ring a bell, shouting “unclean, unclean”.

*You may get some odd looks if you do this.
** Heavy tools may be needed.
*** Could get messy.
**** Remember, Life jackets could be useful if the doors are shut.*****
***** Are these stars getting silly now?

Obviously the sofa takes no responsibility for anything you do as a result of reading this. Ever.

Any one got other ideas?

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10 ways to create trouble in church… but being biblical about it!

Imagine you’re sat there in Church, and you’re wondering “Wouldn’t it be funny if a particular situation happened”. Obviously you dont do anything about it, because isn’t it a bit naughty to make trouble in Church? What if there was a biblical basis for the trouble you are creating? If you are in a trouble making mood then check out our following list:

  1. Swap your church bibles for something a bit more Greek.
  2. Non alcoholic communion wine? Swap it for something with a bit more kick!*
  3. Bring take out to every communion service… if anyone complains point out that Jesus had communion after a meal.
  4. Someone being baptized? Throw them into a river.**
  5. Encourage everyone looking for a job / training to go into carpentry.
  6. Having a bring and share meal at Church? Bring some locusts…
  7. Ask the preacher to tell you a story.
  8. Are you preaching? Arrive to church dressed in Whale vomit, see what happens.
  9. Before any church meals, demand the minister washes everyones feet.
  10. Organising the next church lunch? Arrange for everyone to only bring milk, or honey.

*You may want to make sure no one has issues with alcohol in your church first.
** Offer life jackets if they can’t swim.

Obviously the sofa takes no responsibility for anything you do as a result of reading this. Ever.

Any one got other ideas? 

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10 Tips to Survive A Meeting

Its a new week. Its getting towards the end of the month. You may have a meeting coming up at church. Yes. Another meeting.

The Church Sofa team have sat through some Church related meetings… and other random meetings as well. Here’s someways to help survive yet another meeting:

Continue reading “10 Tips to Survive A Meeting”