When Pastor Jim Bakker Gets Concerned About Bowel Movements

Yes…It seems that Pastor Jim Bakker sells “apocalypse food“, which comes in buckets large enough to serve other functions… then just food storage…

And yes… the video may be a little edited*, but I guess that doesn’t stop the central message from being less gross.

*I hope its been edited, and what is shown doesn’t actually come across as this creepy.

Have You Survived The End of The World?

Well, it seems the world was due to end today. (Monday 23rd April – in case you’re reading this on a different day.)

Basically, a “Christian Numerologist” called David Meade claimed the world was going to end today due to Planet X colliding with Earth.

Presuming you have survived the apocalypse, you may be interested in this…

The apocalypse / rapture survival card.

Remember. The 10th end time prediction is free.

The Rapture Survival Kit

In case you missed it. There is apparently an Apocalypse planned to take place fairly soon. Depending your choice of news outlet / personal religious teaching / worldview / blog, will impact on if you think this is The Apocalypse / An  Apocalypse / The Rapture, or indeed, another day.

Well JUST IN CASE something does happen, here’s what The Sofa suggests having on your person just in case…

  1. Spray Paint. Perfect for spray painting Bible verses over walls, trains, abandoned shops etc.
  2. Clothing. Just in case of sudden air raising, make sure when an apocalypse is planned, to wear clothes at ALL TIMES. (Indeed, clothing is generally a good thing to wear in general anyway).
  3. Plenty of Prescription Meds. If you need prescription meds that is, because well if you don’t then this would be a little naughty.
  4. Running shoes. In case of Zombie Apocalypse.
  5. A copy of the Left Behind series of novels. To act as a guide / hindrance depending how accurate they are.
  6. Bomb Proof Bible.
  7. Holy Water. Because, well you never know.
  8. A Torch. Because light, is good at dealing with dark.
  9. The AntiChrist Detector. Looking like something out of Doctor Who, when you point it at people, it will go “Ding” if it detects AntiChrist. Sadly it would probably act like it came from Doctor Who and go “ding” a little too often.

What else would you suggest that people have on them?

For an alternative take on a Rapture Survival Kit, please see rapture-survival-kit.com

End of The World. Now due on 23rd April.

End of The World on 23rd April - Jesus Meme

The latest Apocalypse news is out, and it seems that the world is going to end on  23rd April. According to David Meade, the world was going to end on 23rd September last, after that didn’t happen, it looks like he’s changed his sums.

According to The Express website (yes, this is in the tabloids):

Believers say a biblical prophecy is about to come true because of a planetary alignment taking place on Monday, April 23.

The passage from the book of Revelation 12:1-2 reads: “And a great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of 12 stars. She was pregnant and was crying out in birth pains and the agony of giving birth.”

Mr Meade, who has been most vocal about the coming apocalypse, says Virgo represents the woman while Jupiter is Messiah.

And on April 23, the sun and moon will be in Virgo along with Jupiter.

The Sun, and The Mail have also covered this… story.

Personally I like the response from The Washington post on how the British press have covered this…

The tabloids ran virtually identical articles last year, speculating that the same Bible verse predicted Planet X would appear on Sept 23, and then multiple dates after that.

Didn’t happen, of course, but maybe the sixth time’s the charm…

But of course, we could also check what the Bible says about the subject..

“But the exact day and hour? No one knows that, not even heaven’s angels, not even the Son. Only the Father knows.

Matthew 24

So. How long do you reckon it will be until the next Apocalypse prophecy will come along?