10 Ways To Get The Church Leader To Love You

How-To-Make-Your-Church-Leader-Love-You

Lets face it. There’s a reason why we get nervous about the vicar (or any Church leader) coming to visit us. It’s because the Church Leader is basically the closest to God we can basically get right?

Otherwise, how else would the Church Leader be a Church Leader right?

So following that logic, wouldn’t it be good if the Church leader loved us right?

Here are 10 ways to get the Church Leader to love you.

  1. Raise your hands in worship at least twice every Sunday.
  2. Make it clear that PCC Top Trumps is indeed your favourite game.
  3. During the sermon shout out helpful, slightly related Bible verses, my favourite is 2 Kings 2:23-24.
  4. Doodle complimentary things about God and the Church in the Church Bibles.
  5. As you leave ‘hum’ parts of the sermon to yourself, so he doesn’t feel jealous of the worship leader.
  6. During the sermon shout out AMEN! Every 2 minutes…
  7. Dress like your church leader. Bonus points if you’re not the same gender, or if your Church leader wears really big robes.
  8. Make your ‘fly needs checking’ motions halfway through the service.
  9. At least a week beforehand, ask what their main points in the sermon will be, so you can read up on it. This may also act as a prompt for them to start working on the sermon, which would be even better.
  10. Mark their sermons 10 out of 10 each week. Use big boards, and hold them up at the back of the Church towards the end of sermon. Encourage people around you to cheer and applause when you do.

Any other suggestions that you would add?

The Big 2018 Church Sofa List of Favourite Things

As 2018 draws to a close, I’m going to steal some some inspiration from a recent Facebook post from Barack Obama, and share some bits and pieces I’ve enjoyed seeing / reading / listening to over the last 12 months. They’ve all particularly inspired, or held my attention in some way.

There will also be Church Sofa highlights thrown in there as well.

There may well be affiliate links thrown in to the mix, but if you dont know any of the below I’d encourage you to check it all out.

Some of my favourite books from this year:

My Favourite Christian Meme

How was there not more Easter / Jesus / April Fools memes going around the place?

Church Sofa Guide.

Was it born from frustration? Or is inspiration found from people around me… Either way, I did enjoy 10 Tips to keep a Tidy Christian House.

My Favourite Movies of 2018

  • Avengers – Infinity War.
  • Thor – Ragnarok
  • The Greatest Showman
  • Doctor Strange

Theres possibly a Marvel theme going on here…

My Favourite Songs of 2018

  • I
  • Refuse
  • To
  • Say
  • A Million Dreams

Favourite Sermon of 2018

THIS!!!!

Favourite Church Notice Board

And its possibly a note to go into 2019 on…

What are your highpoints from 2018?

Top Things Remembered From A Sermon

Isn’t the Church Sermon great? After all, they are a chance to sleep, write silly blog posts, make paper aeroplanes, order pizza, hear and learn Gods wisdom through the study of his word. But the challenge for anyone giving the sermon in church is to ensure they get, and keep peoples attention*. Even the most charismatic of preachers cant stop everyone from being distracted from the sermon they are giving.

We asked a group of people what they were distracted by remembered from sermons over the last month.

  1. That noisy baby / toddler perfectly positioned behind your good ear.
  2. That coughing fit the old dear sitting near you had. Leading you to spend the rest of the service, keeping an eye on her, whilst trying to remember your fist aid training.
  3. The person behind you spilling their glass of water ALL over the place.
  4. Being distracted by calculating the flat surface a full glass of water can cover, once spilt.
  5. The plans for Sunday Roast your head came up with, only two minutes into the sermon.
  6. The last time you heard that illustration.
  7. Wondering if last weeks preacher was funnier.
  8. When you played the game of “Guessing the age of the guest speaker from the clues dropped in their sermon.”
  9. The first and third times when a children’s worker appeared, and you wondered if it was your child that was upset.
  10. That moment of hope when the preacher said “I’ll close on this point”

*Yes we are aware that there are other things, such as being theologically sound, hearing from God, etc…

What do you remember from your last sermon?

The unknown Dangers Preachers Face.

It is one of the unwritten rules of a Sunday Church Service. At some point a preacher will stand up to preach a sermon. At this point things get flexible, the person preaching could be male, female, dog collared, cat collared, but either way there is normally a preacher giving a sermon in church during a Sunday Service.

This preacher faces a number of dangers, every time a sermon is preached:

  1. Someone in the congregation seeing if your phone is on silent.
  2. That glass of water on the floor. Watch your feet.
  3. Wearing the wrong thing will create offence to someone. Don’t wear a shirt and tie… There will be complaints… Wear a shirt and tie, the people not used to you in a tie might giggle at you…
  4. That guy standing at the back, subtly doing the “your fly is low” action.
  5. The edge of the stage.
  6. The potential for complications with technology (e.g. microphone, powerpoint).
  7. Notes jumping on to the floor of their own according and scattering.
  8. Realising you’ve forgotten a page of your sermon notes.
  9. The gentle cough you had this morning, returning with a vengeance, at a crucial moment.
  10. A slip of the tongue…

 

Any others that should be mentioned?

How High Can You Count?

A little story I was told…

A father and son were riding in their car together one day and the son asked the father, “Dad, how high can you count?”

The father replied, “Well, I don’t know, son — how high can you count?”

The son immediately replied, “One thousand, five hundred, forty-two.”

The father said, “Why did you stop?”

The son shrugged his shoulders and said, “Well, church was over.”

 

10 ways to survive a boring sermon(for kids)

Well. In the past we have presented: The Church Sofa Guide To Church: How To Survive A Boring Sermon. While that list contains many nuggets of useful advice, since “Mini Sofa” joined us in the world, I’ve wondered if there is specific advice to help children survive a boring sermon.

Hopefully she’ll find the following useful at somepoint:

  1. Crawl under the seats, and between the legs of the people sitting in them, until you reach the back and freedom!
  2. Chop the bottom out the push chair… Drive it out Flintstones style
  3. Be so hungry you could eat a bible…
  4. When no one is looking… Check if the fire extinguisher really works! (Based on true story)
  5. Do something smelly… See what your parent does.
  6. Make faces at the kids worker during the service. They’ll love it
  7. Is your parent leading the service? Make sure they don’t misbehave by going up front and keeping them company.
  8. Does your church have pews? Bring a car in… those little ledges behind each pew makes a great race track.
  9. Is your parent the hugging, needy type? Demand a hug. When they pick you up… open your mouth and give them back your last meal.
  10. You and a friend, see who can run around the Church hall the fastest! See what happens…

Any we’ve missed?

Does the Church ‘preach what it practises’?

A moment from Richard Littledales blog, where he looks at the question of if the Church should preach what it practises:

Preaching is the charcoal stick which outlines God’s possibilities on the canvas of the soul. Preaching is the place where timeless truth and temporal limitation collide, showering the faithful with sparks of God’s illuminating brilliance. In short, it is motivation for the church more than PR for the world.

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