In case you missed it. There is apparently an Apocalypse planned to take place fairly soon. Depending your choice of news outlet / personal religious teaching / worldview / blog, will impact on if you think this is The Apocalypse / An Apocalypse / The Rapture, or indeed, another day.
Well JUST IN CASE something does happen, here’s what The Sofa suggests having on your person just in case…
Spray Paint. Perfect for spray painting Bible verses over walls, trains, abandoned shops etc.
Clothing. Just in case of sudden air raising, make sure when an apocalypse is planned, to wear clothes at ALL TIMES. (Indeed, clothing is generally a good thing to wear in general anyway).
Plenty of Prescription Meds. If you need prescription meds that is, because well if you don’t then this would be a little naughty.
Running shoes. In case of Zombie Apocalypse.
A copy of the Left Behind series of novels. To act as a guide / hindrance depending how accurate they are.
Bomb Proof Bible.
Holy Water. Because, well you never know.
A Torch. Because light, is good at dealing with dark.
The AntiChrist Detector. Looking like something out of Doctor Who, when you point it at people, it will go “Ding” if it detects AntiChrist. Sadly it would probably act like it came from Doctor Who and go “ding” a little too often.
What else would you suggest that people have on them?
If you’ve been reading The Church Sofa for long enough, you’ve probably seen something that was originally found over at Christian Nightmares, a collection of all sorts of weirdness from mostly American Christianity. I say weird… I mean some of it is kind of disturbing… like those Christian end time thrillers that were released back in the 1970s. These things are basically Christian versions of those Public Information Films from the same decade.
Seemingly inspired by the end time thrillers such as ‘If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do?’ and ‘A Thief in The Night’, CN has organised The Christian Nightmares Tribulation Band, who have recorded a cover version of Larry Normans, “I Wish We’d All Been Ready”.
Whilst I reckon the tune itself is worth a listen, I’m fairly certain the video needs a big fat NSFW work warning.
So I go on holiday… and the world ends… Well thats what it felt like when I checked into Twitter at one point last week. Heres some of the best sites / web pages we came across since then:
The BBC looks at the atheist reaction to the end of the world.
To end with – joking aside – there are going to be alot of people upset that the world didn’t end… wondering what to do from here… all credit to Calvary Bible Church for trying to help.