Well happy days, life is returning to normal. Pubs are serving at the bar, we can lick each others faces in nightclubs, and we can rock on back to Church*.
Even with things coming back to (some sort of) normal, there is still a pandemic happening. What do we suggest doing at Church, to help survive Church during a pandemic?
- Bribe the right people to get seats near the source of ventilation.
- Wear your flipping mask
- Have a badge on saying “I have Asthma, coughing is basically my way of life”**
- Bring digging equipment in case of hoards of huggers.
- Get a flipping vaccine.
- Bring your own coffee. (Use the right cup and it could include whiskey)
- Has the set up changed? Bring a pen and paper to help you make a map of where things are.
- Bring high-tech listening devices, so if needed you can listen into the service from outside.
- Have regular tests to help ensure you’re safe. (No we all know lateral flows aren’t always 100%, but they are better then licking your uncles face to see if he can tell)
- If the preacher encourages people to give each other a Holy Kiss. Run.
What would you add to help people survive Church during a pandemic?
*I’m very aware that this paragraph could date badly.
**only do this if you have asthma
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