A Guide For Christians Moving Home

Well, the Church Sofa family have moved home to what is now known as “Sofa Castle”, to celebrate we’ve put together this little collection of tips for┬ámoving home, or at least how a Christian should move home.

  1. While looking around people’s homes, during the “house searching” phrase, ensure you leave Christian literature on their dining room table.
  2. When looking for a house, ensure you find a place with enough space for a chapel.
  3. It’s not unheard of for people to leave furniture behind when they move, as sometimes they don’t need it in their new home, or sometimes they just can’t fit it out the door. If you’re leaving a cupboard or anything with a drawer, it will always be nice for the new home owner to discover a copy of the Gideons Bible within it.
  4. Don’t forget to leave your large cross behind on the wall. You can always build a new one.
  5. Pass a letter on to your buyer, via your Christian solicitor, advising of how blessed you hope they’ll be in their new home.
  6. Make sure anything alcohol related is covered up, this is to ensure you aren’t responsible for the faith of your removal men stumbling.
  7. During your house move itself, ensure you take regular breaks for water, food, prayer, praise, and Bible readings.
  8. Once you’ve moved home, ensure you drop Evangelistic leaflets down your road, or if you really want to “Move Like Jesus”, knock on all the doors in your new road and ask them if they want to go to Church with you next Sunday.
  9. Has a neighbour just knocked on your door to introduce themselves? Ask if theres anything you can pray for?
  10. Ensure you play a song like this really really loud, out the windows:

Obviously, dont forget to build that chapel.

Any more you suggest?