10 Tips to Survive A Meeting

10 Tips to Survive A Meeting

Its a new week. Its the start of a new month. You may have a meeting coming up at church. Yes. Another church meeting.

The Church Sofa team have sat through some Church related meetings… and other random meetings as well. Here’s someways to help survive yet another meeting:

  1. Subtly text someone else who is also looking bored in the same meeting.
  2. When offered a drink, ask for water. Slowly replace it with Gin when no one is looking.
  3. Pull your phone out, look at the screen and calmly exclaim “oh good God” and rush out. Later on when you’re asked why you left, look slightly embarrassed say sorry “I cant really talk about it. you know how it can be”. confused they will just agree with you. and you are all free!
  4. Try some gentle rocking. That will probably get you excused.
  5. Dont get angry. Getting angry will only lead to the meeting being even longer then it needs to be. But you might want to try sleeping.
  6. Someone not there? I’m sure they’ll love to do “that” job.
  7. Plot how hard you have to fall out your chair to be excused from the meeting, but not need a hospital trip.
  8. Wear one of those glasses which has open eyes on the front. While you enjoy being asleep.
  9. Notepad. Pen. Pretend to write loads of notes. While you’re actually writing a silly Church Sofa list of stuff.
  10. Play a game of “word bingo” with a friend. Obviously feel free to cheat, but when your list of words have been spoken during the meeting you do have to shout out “BINGO!”

Any more tips to share?

10 Ways To Be Late To A Meeting.

You’re there. Driving fast / cycling like a crazy person / trying not to run… but either way you’re running late to a meeting. It could be Housegroup, a prayer meeting, or some sort of leaders meeting. Whatever the meeting is, you’re running late to it.

You could either arrive late. Or you could arrive late with style. Want to choose the style option? Check out our list of 10 Ways To Be Late To A Meeting:

  1. That short cut you’ve been meaning to try out. See if its really a short cut.
  2. Don’t even acknowledge you’re late. Enough panache and you can leave everyone else wondering whether they were early.
  3. Explain to people you’ve been there all the time, and that you just nipped out to go the loo. Act upset that they didn’t notice you if they show any signs of doubt.
  4. Walk in with some elaborate excuse. Ignore the looks you get when the KFC wrappers fall out your pocket, and pretend they’ve been on the floor all along.
  5. With Pizza / beer / Dohnuts…. (No one will care if you’re late as long as you’re sharing)
  6. Now is the time to turn vigilante! Put on your Batman outfit, and run around the local park telling the local teenagers to go to bed. When you turn up to your meeting battered and bruised, explain you felt called to do some detached youthwork on your way there.
  7. Walk in. Take a seat. When people look at you, just explain that you weren’t late – as you’ve been there in spirit since the start. In fact this could be used if you miss the entire meeting.
  8. Arrive in disguise. (As someone who really shouldn’t be at that meeting)
  9. Knock on the window, asking to be let in. Explain that you wanted to make an entrance. (Bonus points if you’re above the 2nd floor)
  10. Get yourself a wizard outfit, just so you can reenact this:

Any more?