This Week In The Internet – The Trump Bible Edition

Where Sofa attempts to round up the random things he’s come across in Christian Internet this week…

Did you hear the one about The Book of Trump? Yeah… Like in the Bible…

Yeah… according to USA Today a wife of a political donor is wanting a “Book of Trump”… a bit like the book of Esther, but with Donald Trump… and she’s wanting this in the Bible.

Read the writings of Miriam Adelson, the Israeli-American wife of GOP mega donor Sheldon Adelson, and you’ll find her case to expand the holy book with a story named after the 45th president of the United States. 

“Would it be too much to pray for a day when the Bible gets a ‘Book of Trump,’ much like it has a “Book of Esther” celebrating the deliverance of the Jews from ancient Persia?” Adelson wrote in a column published July 6 in the Las Vegas Review-Journal, a newspaper the Adelsons own.

Adelson contends Donald Trump “should enjoy sweeping support” among U.S. Jews and Israelis – so much so that he deserves pages in the Bible. 

USA Today

Read more at USA Today.

Sacred Cell Phone Time?

“These days, we adults spend an average of 3 hours, 43 minutes on mobile devices every day.  And if the grouchiness of church leaders is any indication, churchgoers have conspired to make Sunday mornings at 9:15 one of those hours.”

Church Marketing Sucks* has had a look at using your phone in Church. Have a read if you feel guilty about looking at your phone in Church.

What happens to our online data when we die?

It’s claimed almost a quarter of us want our social media and email accounts to die when we do. A report says 24% would support so-called “data death” – with 1 in 10 worried about what happens to digital accounts when we die. But almost half want to leave friends and family a digital legacy, where they can access photos and messages. UCB’s David Peek asked Dr Bex Lewis – a senior lecturer in Digital Marketing at Manchester Metropolitan University – for her views.

Need A Reason to go to Church?

How about not, to find out about Jesus?

Totally not, to hang out with Gods people?

What about…

Thats it for this one… Anything I missed?

*Church Marketing Sucks. I love that name.

The New Mars Hill Church?

You may have heard of Mark Driscoll before, he was the guy that ran Mars Hill church over in America, and seemed to become known in the UK for saying some “questionable” stuff… like this… and this… and there was other stuff… (Google him!)

Well he’s back, and he has a launch video for his new Church called Trinity Church:


10 New Christian Insults

10 New Christian InsultsOne day, a while ago, I wrote a list of Christian Insults. Time has passed since then, and I have heard new insults muttered in the dark areas of Church. Here are (possibly) 10 Christian Insults I’ve heard around the dark corners of Church.

  1. I’m guessing you’re speaking in tongues, as I cant understand a word you just said to me.
  2. I need to remember, our Lord Jesus, during his time physically on earth, used a donkey. I guess he could do the same now.
  3. With theology* like that, why did you ever graduate from Creche?
  4. I bet you use the fake stuff during communion right?
  5. We are all a gift from God. Some of us are a gift to simply test us.
  6. Is there such a thing as a Holy Slap?
  7. You just imagine Bible verses that aren’t really there don’t you?
  8. You’re so old, I bet you were around when Delirious were cool.
  9. You were baptised properly right?
  10. That sermon made me want Gods Kingdom to come quicker.
  11. You’re the type of person to eat the fruit before talking to the snake right?
  12. That was so subtle, I almost miss Mark Driscoll.

* and counting skills.

Please let me know if you use any of these at Church or even at work. If you have any other ideas please share them below

With thanks to The Beaker Folk for the inspiration to have another go at this.

10 Christian Insults To Consider.

Sometimes, people get to you. Admit it, they do. Go on, its ok its only you and I here. When people get you, do you ever really want to turn around and tell them to *******!!!!!!! away?

Obviously you don’t say it like that, because you’re a Christian, and Christians dont insult people right?

What if Christians did insult people? What would a Christian insult look like?

Here are ten to consider using at Church on Sunday:

  1. In our fathers house there are many rooms. May you be in the opposite wing to me.
  2. If you were around then, you probably wouldn’t have been the disciple Jesus loved.
  3. You are the Alliance to my Oasis.
  4. You can sit on my left.
  5. Doubting Thomas looks certain next to you.
  6. May you look back at Sodom.
  7. When I look at you, I am reminded that there are things sent to test our faith.
  8. That was done with all the subtlety of Mark Driscoll.
  9. Some people are wheat and others chaff.
  10. Some people are like angels who fell from heaven. You climbed up from the other place right?

Any more?

The Church Sofa Awards 2013

Welcome to the forth Annual Church Sofa Awards*!

This is where we celebrate the best and sometimes worse moments of 2013, featured both on this blog and around the internet.

The first award is…

Church Notice Board of The Year:  From this past year, this one was by far the most popular:



Twitter Hero – given to those who are brilliant on Twitter: The MP @MPritchardMP, who by tweeting “If some parts of the Church of England preached a little more gospel and a little less politics – perhaps church would be in a better place“, managed to create the biggest show of Christian unity I’ve seen online in a long time.

Honorable Mentions to: @edaross and @gods_toddler for help and inspiration for various posts over the last year, and @churchanarchist for replying to my request for a “Twitter Hero”, with a long list of possible people.

Most Useful Church Sofa List: We have tried to continue to educate people about the church, mostly by releasing different lists of things. It seems that our most popular church sofa list was a collection of Christian Chat Up Lines. With classic chat up lines such asI didn’t believe in predestination until tonight.” you can see why its such a popular resource.

Best Dad Blog by a Church Sofa Lad: The Little Southern Dad Blog – a look at parenthood, kids, relationships, and Doctor Who. (Blatant Plug – I admit it!)

Creepiest Thing of The Year: People still seem to load up the “God Baby” post from last year…


The Villain of The Year: Mark Driscoll for alleged plagiarism in his new book “A Call to Resurgence: Will Christianity Have a Funeral or a Future”.  Janet Mefferd who accused Driscoll of plagiarism in his new book “A Call to Resurgence: Will Christianity Have a Funeral or a Future”.

(Check out for a quick summery of the above)

Simpsons Moment of The Year: Well the most popular Simpsons clip has since been taken down, so here’s the most popular that we’re allowed to watch:

Best Blog Post: The foodbank – from Dave Walker.

None – Twitter Hero of The Year: Well it would be odd to do this year round up thing without mentioning the dual coolness of the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, and Pope Francis. Both of which seem to have done amazingly well in the first year of their respective roles within both the Catholic and good old C of E.

Peoples Choice for Best Church / Christian Blog:


This is a peoples choice, and I put it to the good people of Twitter which blog particulary stood out for them in 2013, I’ve been knocked sideways by the amount of replies I’ve had**, and simply blown away by how it seems that every suggestion I’ve had, has been for someone different.

It has been great seeing peoples reactions when their name / blog was mentioned – please don’t ever hesitate to tell people you like what they’re doing.

If it seems that I’m stalling, its because I am.

The winner of the Peoples Choice for Best Church / Christian Blog is simply… no one.

Because everyone has won.

Or everyone has lost…

I’m not sure… I’m a little confused.

What do you reckon? Are then any awards which we should have included??

Any awards that should have been different?

Any highlights that we’ve missed out?

*No actual awards to be given to anyone until we start making a huge amount of money to cover said awards…

**I’ll compile the list of blogs mentioned some point soon