10 Ways To Be Late To A Meeting.

You’re there. Driving fast / cycling like a crazy person / trying not to run… but either way you’re running late to a meeting. It could be Housegroup, a prayer meeting, or some sort of leaders meeting. Whatever the meeting is, you’re running late to it.

You could either arrive late. Or you could arrive late with style. Want to choose the style option? Check out our list of 10 Ways To Be Late To A Meeting:

  1. That short cut you’ve been meaning to try out. See if its really a short cut.
  2. Don’t even acknowledge you’re late. Enough panache and you can leave everyone else wondering whether they were early.
  3. Explain to people you’ve been there all the time, and that you just nipped out to go the loo. Act upset that they didn’t notice you if they show any signs of doubt.
  4. Walk in with some elaborate excuse. Ignore the looks you get when the KFC wrappers fall out your pocket, and pretend they’ve been on the floor all along.
  5. With Pizza / beer / Dohnuts…. (No one will care if you’re late as long as you’re sharing)
  6. Now is the time to turn vigilante! Put on your Batman outfit, and run around the local park telling the local teenagers to go to bed. When you turn up to your meeting battered and bruised, explain you felt called to do some detached youthwork on your way there.
  7. Walk in. Take a seat. When people look at you, just explain that you weren’t late – as you’ve been there in spirit since the start. In fact this could be used if you miss the entire meeting.
  8. Arrive in disguise. (As someone who really shouldn’t be at that meeting)
  9. Knock on the window, asking to be let in. Explain that you wanted to make an entrance. (Bonus points if you’re above the 2nd floor)
  10. Get yourself a wizard outfit, just so you can reenact this:

Any more?

15 Things We Can Learn From Lord of The Rings

Last night, we took advantage of the extra hour by completing the trip through Middle Earth, by watching the epic-length “Return of The King”.
As I watching it, I couldn’t help but think about the plots and characters interwoven throughout all 3 books / movies, and wondered what we could learn from them.  So here we present the Church Sofa list of things we can learn from The Lord of The Rings:
    1. If you’re going to walk in the river – make sure you can swim
    2. Don’t put all your trust in your first wizard, wait for the ‘White’ one to come along
    3. Make sure you don’t follow an insane leader
    4. Be careful if that random old uncle gives you a random ring. If he does, do yourself a favour… Lock it away somewhere safe, leave it alone, and run!
    5. They do indeed come in pints
    6. Some times you need that extra gulp of beer before you chat to the pretty bar maid.
    7. Don’t tell small people to go away, you may need them to watch your back sooner then you think.
    8. Don’t try and steal rings from little people.
    9. If a wise and trusted old wizard tells you not to touch a giant marble… Don’t touch it.
    10. Be careful when wondering in dark caves, you may want to check for any local rumours of monsters before you go in there.
    11. Does your gardener have a weird spaced out look in his eyes? If so make sure he hasn’t nicked the ring that random old uncle gave you.
    12. The night can only last so long, come sun rise you will get reinforcements
    13. You won’t always get the right man for the job – sometimes you’ll need a woman.
    14. Every now and then you may need someone to carry you.
    15. Sometimes you need things to go that badly wrong to know what you can really do.

With thanks to our fantastic Twitter followers for their inspiration.

Is there any more we could include?