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10 signs you’re late for church

Its 10 am, you’re up, running around your place like a maniac. You’re doing everything to avoid being late for church, because, well… you’re never late for church. If you’ve ever wondered what it looks like to be late for church, heres a list of 10 things to look out for:

  1. The “welcome” team seem very absent.
  2. Nearest car park space is a decent walk. As the on-time people got the nearer spaces away.
  3. Tutting noises…
  4. Notice sheets. Gone.
  5. The only remaining spare seats are at the front.
  6. You’ve missed the Notices.
  7. The vicar looks at you with ‘that’ look when he asks whats important in our lives?
  8. You’ve got yourself and your little one sat down, and have spent five minutes keeping her quiet – until you realise no other kids are in the service because they all left ten minutes ago.
  9. Everybody looks somewhat different. More then usual. At this point you realise you’re not just late, but your late to “The second morning service”
  10. An empty church hall… because everyones gone home already.

Any more?