When Ikea Meets Church

Personally I quite like this idea*.

You see ikea has short cuts. To get you out quickly. Which in a Church context, could be useful for things like “The Peace”, or giving each other a “Holy Kiss.”

Lets not forget the chocolate.

What else could a Church steal from ikea?

Not A 100 Ways To Celebrate a Christian Birthday.

A while back, Sofa had the rare chance to find himself at a 100th birthday celebration. As is how my mind works, I wondered. What if there was a Christian way for celebrating each one of those 100 birthdays?

I couldn’t find 100 ways so I’d like to present the, Not A 100 Ways To Celebrate a Christian Birthday…. (Affiliate links are below)

  1. Give the birthday boy / girl a new Bible.
  2. Give socks with holes in.
  3. Bless them with cake.
  4. Supply some Communion Wine for the birthday meal.
  5. Take them on a tour around interesting local churches.
  6. Bless them by sharing the cake.
  7. Bless them with a Holy Spirit.
  8. Give them a Holy Kiss.
  9. Church Crawl at Communion time.
  10. Throw them in some water. Call it a baptism.
  11. Create a lego model of them dressed up as a minister.
  12. Get them this light hearted read: https://amzn.to/2BOIM4H
  13. Buy a copy of the Christian classic, “Left Behind”.
  14. Write them a silly list of things you love about them.
  15. Write to a politician and request something on your friends behalf.
  16. Encourage them to be more like Jesus. Buy them this. 
  17. Pray for them.
  18. Sponsor a goat in Wales.
  19. Buy them a Bible.
  20. Photoshop pictures of them in random churches around the world.
  21. Pray with them.
  22. Write a silly list of silly things. Put the silly list in a card, or framed, or something.
  23. Don’t pray with them.
  24. Go on a pilgrimage with them. (To the pub)
  25. Spend some time working out which praying option your friend would be more comfortable with.
  26. Give the birthday boy / girl a new Bible.
  27. Wonder if they would spot any duplicates in the skilly list you’re giving them.
  28. Cook them breakfast on a Sunday morning.
  29. Dance them a Birthday dance
  30. Say “Happy Birthday”
  31. Rewrite a blog post for them about a 100th Birthday celebration, but make it about a 32nd instead.
  32. Sing this song.

Any more you can add? Can you help me reach 100??

When Church Service Leaders Go Rogue.

Imagine you’ve dragged your none Christian friends / family to Church. Well done. You’ve got them there. Now what if the person leading the service, or giving the sermon is feeling particularly…. adventurous. What if the person leading the service goes a little rogue and says, or encourages everyone to do something a little… different?

What do you NOT want them to say??

How about this collection of comments that may or may not have some bearing on real life events…

  1. “Turn to the person on your right, and make your confession”
  2. “Why don’t we spend a few minutes, where we all share our favorite Bible verses with each other?
  3. “Grab each others hands! Dont be shy! Now lets dance around the hall!”
  4. After the above “Let us all turn, look, and lay hands on the person having an asthma attack after all that dancing!”
  5. “In this time of prayer, we will anoint each other with (baby) oil”
  6. “As we are a family church, lets ensure we treat each other as family. To that end, lets all invite the person sitting in front of us to dinner this week?”
  7. “Let us show our servant heart to each other, and wash the feet of the people next to us”
  8. “Let us sing out own joyful song of praise. In our own Heavenly tongue if needed”
  9. “Wasn’t that a lovely word from the Pastor? I would love it if we could all turn to the people around us, and share 3 things we learnt from Gods word tonight”
  10. “In the spirit of the early Church, I would like us to give each other a Holy Kiss”

Any you could add?

(Its just occurred to me that I could call this “Christian Introvert Nightmares”)

Being Bored At A Christian Festival

We’ve all been there. You know everyone is having fun, but you cant help but feel a little bored.
For some reason you can’t find anything to occupy your brain with.
Well, when you’re away from home, this can be rubbish. Therefore The Church Sofa has put together this little wheel spinner, to help you decide what to do, if you’re bored at a Christian Festival.

Any you would add?