What price is you and your families spiritual growth?

The other day, I overheard a conversation about Christian festivals in the UK, and how much it costs to go to one in particular. In defence, someone asked the question: “What price is you and your families spiritual growth?

I figured I should do some research to find out, at what price does spiritual growth indeed cost?* (Based on 2 adults and a toddler)

What is the Price of Spiritual Growth?

Now this is all a little approximate, as some of the above festivals do offer cheaper ways to get tickets. Others – particularly towards the more pricey end of the spectrum do also offer a number of more expensive options as well.

I’ve not factored in other costs involved like petrol, food, emotional, alcohol, etc… But all the above does include accommodation for the duration of the festival. 

Its also worth noting that lower cost doesn’t equal lack of “big names”.

Anyone out there fancy taking a stab at what we can learn from all this?

*This is obviously all presuming that spiritual growth does indeed only happen at Christian Festivals.

How to misbehave at a Christian Festival

Well its not just approaching the end of July, its also approaching Christian Festival season. With Festivals like Greenbelt, Momentum, Soul Survivor, Creation Fest, there are plenty to choose from. Many of these are great amazing times, and I doubt you’ll get bored at any of them, but you might. If you do, maybe you’ll find some inspiration here for the best way to misbehave at a Christian Festival

  1. Not at all charismatic? Surrounded by very charismatic worshippers? Feel out of place? Offer tea and refreshments to those around you. Obviously ask people to put their hands down if they want any drink.
  2. Start a rumor that Delirious aren’t really coming back together.
  3. Set up a mobile wifi hotspot, with no password. Call the network “Free WiFi For All”. Block access to Facebook and Twitter over it.
  4. Set up a toilet cubical, with big signs so that everyone knows its a toilet cubical. Forget to include the toilet.
  5. Do you snore? Position a megaphone inside your tent, so your snoring sounds are picked up by the megaphone. If people complain, explain how it’s been a problem all your life. Ask for prayer.
  6. Advertise a pop up pub that will appear on the last night of the festival, ensure the advertising mentions the words “Cheap” and “Beer” over and over. Set up a pop up pub, sell beer, dont mention its alcohol free…
  7. Encourage “serventhood” at the festival, by offering free coffees to people around your tent, as the week goes on increase the strength of the coffee. On the last day, switch to decaf.
  8. Dance like David danced during the worship. With the same amount of clothes…
  9. Have a stand up offering to baptise people. When people come to be baptised, use your super soaker to baptise them. Include red food colouring, when they look at you oddly, explain they’ve been baptised in the blood of the lamb.**
  10. Set up a game of laser quest. In and among people during a worship service. Something like this.

* There are loads more obviously, but I’m not going to list them all. Someone just has to be left out at somepoint.

**if you have the money, you could just use lambs blood.***

*** give this a really long think before you do this. It is kinda gross.

Any more suggestions?

For more ideas, check out last years list: Ten Ways to Misbehave at a Christian Festival.

Disclaimer: Do any of these at your own risk, the Sofa takes no responsibility for any trouble that happens to you if you do this, but if you do end up in Christian Festival Jail, please let us know what that’s like.

Ten Ways to Misbehave at a Christian Festival

Still due to go to a Christian Festival this year? Maybe Momentum? Greenbelt? I doubt you will get bored, but you might. If you do, maybe you’ll find some inspiration here for the best way to misbehave at a Christian Festival *:

  1. Play basketball in inappropriate places. Like the Market Place.
  2. Bring old wine to New Wine.
  3. Run round Soul Survivor in late 90s clothing. Ask people when The World Wide Message Tribe are playing.
  4. Hang an out of order sign on a shower cubicle. Watch peoples faces as you walk past the shower queue into your waiting shower the next morning.
  5. Going to New Day? Ask which day of the festival is THE new day.
  6. Go to Soul Survivor dressed up ready for a game of paint ball. Spend the week going up to people asking if they fancy a game of “Sole Survivor”
  7. Camp site + acoustic guitar – tune + late at night = you.
  8. Going to Greenbelt? Dress up as a ninja… Spend the whole time asking people if they are THE Greenbelt. If they say yes, call them master and do anything they say.
  9. Pick up a cheap alarm clock. Set it to go really early. Leave it outside the guitar players tent.
  10. Get a crowd organised, and have an early morning worship gathering among the other tents. Have a few people cooking up some bacon ready to offer a bacon sarnie to any one the comes out their tent looking annoyed. Count the amount of people that stay annoyed at the wake up call, verses the amount of people who act blessed by the bacon. If there are more “blessed people”… try it again the next morning.

Please let us know if you try any of these!

Any more you’d suggest?

*Obviously any of this may really annoy people. Be careful of your audience. Play nice. We accept no responsibility if you get hit!


Sell Greenbelt To Me!

I have something to admit.

While “This Andy” is a Greenbelt regular, I have never actually gone along. But I have to admit, the combination of this years line up, and watching the #gb11 twitter stream has kinda made me want to go. Actually I wanted to go this year – but thats a whole different story…

So – if you have any opinions about Greenbelt, I have some questions for you!

  • In your words, what is it?
  • Is it worth going along?
  • Why is it worth going along?
  • Would you drag your non Christian mates along?
Really really interested in what you reckon, particularly that last point. I’d love to hear what you reckon either in the comments below, via the email link to your left, or on Twitter ( we’re @thechurchsofa )

Weekly Roundup: The Bank Holiday Edition

Well… with the bank holiday around the corner, and everyone having plans for the long weekend, we’ve brought the weekly roundup today. See if you can guess the theme:

  • Anna looks forward to the #iMass – in fact I think I’ve got a picture or two featured in it as well…
  • @Gurdur is a lion being thrown to the Christians…
  • @thomasashmead shares his SoulSurvivor memories…
  • Dave Walker of The Cartoon Church asks for peoples plaster casts, and discusses other Greenbelt type things…
  • …and finally… Not forgetting… Our own game. Are you ready to play, WheresAndy?

Calling all Greenbelters

If you’re going to Greenbelt this year, we have a special challenge for you. Our very own ThisAndy is going to be at greenbelt. And you all have a chance to win a very special prize*. All you have to do to win this prize, is find ThisAndy at Greenbelt, and get his attention and say to him the following phrase:

“You’re Andy Hood, from The Church Sofa, can I have my prize now please?”

There are also some clues available,

  • There is a picture of him below.
  • Follow @andy_hood on twitter as he may post some clues as to his whereabouts and where he might be found.
  • He is one of the contributors to the festival











*Please note: prize may not be special at all.