Imagine you’re sat there in Church, and you’re wondering “Wouldn’t it be funny if a particular situation happened”. Obviously you dont do anything about it, because isn’t it a bit naughty to make trouble in Church? What if there was a biblical basis for the trouble you are creating? If you are in a trouble making mood then check out our following list:
Swap your church bibles for something a bit more Greek.
Non alcoholic communion wine? Swap it for something with a bit more kick!*
Bring take out to every communion service… if anyone complains point out that Jesus had communion after a meal.
Someone being baptized? Throw them into a river.**
Encourage everyone looking for a job / training to go into carpentry.
Having a bring and share meal at Church? Bring some locusts…
Ask the preacher to tell you a story.
Are you preaching? Arrive to church dressed in Whale vomit, see what happens.
Before any church meals, demand the minister washes everyones feet.
Organising the next church lunch? Arrange for everyone to only bring milk, or honey.
*You may want to make sure no one has issues with alcohol in your church first.
** Offer life jackets if they can’t swim.
Obviously the sofa takes no responsibility for anything you do as a result of reading this. Ever.
We all feel a little mischievous sometimes… Have you ever sat in Church and just wanted a giggle? Well here’s our list of 10 Ways to Create Trouble in Church, to help you feel inspired next time you’re in Church.*
Someone coughing next to you? Be nice. Offer them a bottle of water. Don’t tell them it’s sparkling water. Also, don’t tell them you’ve recently dropped it.
Renumber the service card.
Cough. Splutter. Mutter about the Plague. (Careful of doing this in a Healing Service, you may get prayed for / anointed with oil etc)
Put duckies in the Baptism pool.
During the sermon, project a timer counting down from 20 mins onto the back wall. Watch the preacher get more and more nervous as his time starts to run out.
Preacher likely to go on for to long? Arrange for the entire back row to “fall asleep” at the same time.
Let the local gang of toddlers play with the above mentioned duckies… During the service.
Do you have one of those baptism pools which are covered up during none baptism services? Try hiding a phone in there. Ring the phone half way through the prayers, enjoy watching the ensuring confusion.
Sit behind someone who is scared of mice / rats / anything that crawls. Set a wind up mouse going under their pew.
Fart bombs. Rigged up to a timer, and placed behind the pulpit…
*No one on the Church Sofa takes any responsibility for anything that happens to anyone if any of the above is done or not done.