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Why This Is Important

You know those preachers that preacher rubbish about covid… not even rubbish about God, or The Bible? But rubbish about Covid?

Ever wondered why people get upset about them?

Its because it matters, and people get sick.

Here’s a story.

(The Featured image might be my new favourite go-to Covid image by the way)

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The Grand Church Reopening

Feeling welcomed?

So Internet…

With restrictions easing (in England at least), and Churches making plans to open up more, how are we feeling about returning to Church – in person type activies?

What do you reckon? What would a new normal look like anyway?

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What to do in an outside Church Service.

In case you missed it. It seems that Churches can now sing outside again. In fact, The Church of England have released a load of information about outside worship is found here.

As singing outside in a crowd could appear different to some, we’ve compiled a list of ideas to remember when hosting an outside Church worship service.

  1. Make sure your dressed for the season. So therefore depending on the season, this could mean winter coat for when the sun is behind a cloud, and shorts / T-shirt for when the sun is out.
  2. A two meter stick. Because you know…
  3. Have multiple garden heaters, because it gets cold.
  4. Ensure the worship leader knows that this isn’t a dry run for early morning worship at the next Church approved Big Christian Conference.
  5. Make sure there is a big sign asking EVERYONE to bring an umbrella, because rain. Particularly important in Manchester.
  6. Don’t expect to go get a pie, pint, or pizza at half time. But MY WORD. That should be a thing in all churches. from now on.
  7. Wonder out loud if church should meet outside more often.
  8. Look after that one person who actually knows all the rules and regulations. Maybe offer them a strong coffee or something stronger to help steady their nerves.
  9. Pretend its Christmas. Bring Mulled Wine.
  10. Or in fact, if you’re meeting in a park, bring cheap cider. Because memories.

Anything we’ve missed out?

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How To Do Church This Week

woman having a video call

Its a weekend in Lockdown. For many of us weekends include Church on the Sunday. During a pandemic, the act of going to a church building is far more complicated then ever.

Therefore may I present the Church Sofa List of Ways To Do Church during 2021:

  1. Put it on YouTube.
  2. Put it on YouTube, join in with the comments.
  3. Arrange to watch an online service at the same time as other Christians. Perhaps chat on WhatsApp at the same time.
  4. All gather via on Zoom, chat, pray, read a bible verse, talk about that bible verse.
  5. Give the national C of E “Daily Hope” number a call – 0800 804 8044
  6. Ask if you local church has a number to dial into.
  7. Give someone a call / drop them a message to say hi.
  8. Watch it on Facebook Live, join in with comments, share the video onto your feed?
  9. Live near someone from Church? How about dropping a card / chocolate / cake around?

Any other ideas?

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Church Online: A personal highlight

While having the church livestream on…

Guy leading prayers online: “…you might want to pause in the quietness…”

Home: *The lounge echoes with sounds of the globe being smacked by a lightsaber… moments before said globe is kicked into the Christmas tree.*

Christmas 2020.

Are you ready for this?

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Online Christmas Carol Service Bingo

We would normally be entering the world of Christmas Carol Services in Churches around the world right now. While some churches may be hosting “something”, lets face it – the church isn’t going to be packed this year.

Normally, I sit there and wonder about how familiar they feel, and out of that feeling – the Christmas Carol Service Bingo Card were born…

While, as everything is a “little different” this year – this years bingo cards are also a little different.

Feel free to print them out and play bingo in your kitchen / on the sofa / back row / shed / bus / bed / supermarket queue in a carpark / where ever church looks like these days…

Obviously don’t shout AMEN if you complete a line, shout HARK! or something… You can say that as loud as you want this year. Unless you actually are in a bus, or a supermarket queue or something.

That might be strange.

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Alternative – Socially Distanced – Christmas Service Ideas

Once upon a time. In a simpler pre-covid age, Sofa wrote a little thing about Alternative Christmas Service Ideas, and as a post. Its fine. You can argue some of it could be adjusted for a socially distanced church service, but… some of them might take work.

With that in mind, may I present* the Church Sofa…

Alternative – Socially Distanced – Christmas Service Ideas…

  1. Ok. Lets face it. Inviting a group of people anywhere may not be the best the thing to do right now. So – lets bring it to the people. Find a heavily pregnant lady and ask her to walk around the local streets. Knocking on peoples door, asking if theres any room in the inn.
  2. Add a hassled husband into the mix.
  3. Have a live donkey with them as well. Don’t forget to walk the long donkey up to the house whilst they are being asked if there is any room. Bonus points if the donkey leaves any “bonus” gifts on the door step. It will add to the atmosphere.
  4. Have a socially distanced choir follow the couple and donkey.
  5. Livestream a Christmas reading. Just outside the open window to a labour ward. See if any “bonus sounds” get picked up.
  6. Live stream a reading of the shepherds, in the light of a camp fire. Possibly on the church carpert. Granted someone on the PCC / a Deacon / Church Wardens, may come after you, but the young people will love it. Besides. It might be a while until anyone notices.
  7. Do you normally have a midnight service? Try and have drop a little bottle of port around everyones houses. See if anyone has it by the time the service starts.
  8. Is there anyone pregnant in your church? Get them to change their Facebook name to “Mary”, then a few days before encourage her say she has to go on a journey… and the travel arrangements aren’t great.
  9. Raise money for Sofa to make the Christmas Carol Service Bingo Card – an app. Therefore cutting down on paper being given out to people.
  10. Its Christmas. Its not cancelled! Its a time of celebration! Live stream fireworks being set off! Just dont have the donkey involved with it.

*Some of this might actually get you arrested, or result in a fire or something… The Sofa doesn’t take any responsibility – for anything – let alone the internet getting into trouble.

Are there any you would add?

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Should I go to that Church Thing? (The September update)

Back when this Covid thing first started, Sofa tried to be helpful, and created a flowchart for people to follow to help decide if they should go to a church thing or not. (This was back when Church things were a… thing*).

So… I figured I would try an “updated version”.

It may have ran out of my control a little bit…

*For whats its worth, a lot of others things were also a “thing” back then! (EG. Pints inside, eating out… and warm…, questionable hand hygiene etc)