Could the next Evangelical Alliance Chief Executive be an Avenger?

Could the next Evangelical Alliance be an Avenger?

Have you heard of the Evangelical Alliance? They are a… alliance of evangelical type people… (Read their about us page if you’re really interested) Basically, the UK branch are looking for a new Chief Executive.

Which brings me nicely onto this tweet…

I cant talk Game of Thrones, but Avengers I can…

So which member of The Avengers, would make a good Evangelical Alliance Chief Executive ? I couldn’t resist giving it a think…

(Yes there are spoilers for Avengers Endgame coming up – I’m NOT messing with you!) Please scroll down past Spoiler Darth to read more…

STOP SCROLLING! THERE BE SPOILERS BELOW!
Last warning of spoilers…

So we’re looking for an Avenger that can…

(Provide) inspirational leadership and helping developing our vision, mission, purpose and strategy, this person will lead the UK’s oldest and largest evangelical unity movement forward.

Read the rest of Job Description on the EA site.

Which Avenger could be the next EA Chief Executive?

Ronin / Clint / Hawkeye

Image result for ronin hawkeye gif

Hear me out here! The guy is a passionate family man, with a do what needs to be done attitude to protect his friends. True, people may have problems with some of his measures, but he will ensure churches / various EA people don’t stray to far away from the EA party line.

Black Widow

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She basically led The Avengers during “The 5 years”
There could be a gentle issue with her being dead though.

Vision

Image result for Vision gif
You want Vision?
This guy is Vision.
But also dead. (At least for now)

Iron Man

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I…. I cant….

Wanda Maximoff

Image result for scarlet witch endgame gif
Because why not?
Would you want to mess with her?
She’s still alive.
She flipping kicks ass.
There is a risk that her Superhero name of Scarlet Witch may prove problematic.

Thor

Image result for thor gif
The sort of Avenger that could be good at it, but would prefer to be off having adventures in space instead? Simply put. He would be awesome, would tick the boxes, but would hand it over as soon as the first ship comes along.
People may get a little upset about the whole “god” thing though.

The Hulk

Image result for professor hulk gif
No not when he’s all “Hulk Smash”, but when he’s Endgame “Professor Hulk”.
The dudes clever, good with kids, and while he hasn’t shown massive leader experience, he’s big and green. I’d listen to him.

Who would you choose?

(With thanks to @DavidSJAustin)

Unfortunate Church Design of The Week…

Somebody. I wish I remember who, once wrote a piece in a publication more highly thought of then The Sofa, that discussed about how powerful Church Marketing is.

I guess they never saw anything like this.

” The elders at my brother-in-law’s church got to design the church league softball shirts. The thought “CLI” (Christian Life International) alone wouldn’t signify a church, so they added the cross. Magnificent. “

There is some discussion over how true this one is, but the original poster seems to come across as consistent in what he’s saying. I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusion.

Weekly Round up of Stuff – The Beer Edition

My Regular feature about random little things I’ve spotted online this week.

Something about Trump being Esther…

No Donald Trump has not had a sex change and started calling himself Esther! Well… I don’t think he has… Anyway, The Christian Broadcast Network has interviewed Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, during which… well…

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said Thursday that it is “possible” that President Trump is meant to save the Jewish people.

He made the comments during an interview in Jerusalem with the Christian Broadcasting Network.

“As a Christian I certainly believe that’s possible,” Pompeo responded when asked whether Trump is a new Esther, who in the Bible convinced the king of Persia not to slaughter the Jewish people. ADVERTISEMENT

The CBN interview falls on Purim, a Jewish holiday that marks Esther’s story.

The CBN hosts in questioning Pompeo referred to Iran as the modern-day threat to the Jewish people. Trump last year withdrew the U.S. from the Iranian nuclear treaty and reimposed sanctions on the country.

thehill.com

Check out the rest at thehill.com. There’s also a video of the interview… but that acted strange for me…

Update… and a video of it on Twitter…

Vicar Complains About Own Church

Alright. Typing Vicar Complains About Own Church isn’t the most earth shattering thing to ever type. This dude complained to the council… (Thanks to Jon W for finding this)

The PERFECT LENT THING!!!

Some people give up stuff for Lent. Stuff like Facebook, swearing, and beer…

Other people take up things for Lent, things like acts of kindness, Bible Readings, and beer…

Wait a minute…

I may start canvassing opinion on if I should drink only beer for Lent next year…

What do you reckon?

Christian Excuses For Being Late To A Meeting

I’ve commented before, that the Church does seem to get people working as teams very well. That could be the Church setup team, the Church flower team, the preaching team, the welcoming team, the Church team, the list goes on…

And obviously, every now and then, meetings are arranged, which as much as you try… you don’t seem to get to on time.

What good excuses are there for when you’re late to a Church Meeting*? Here is our list:

  1. There were too many heathens driving on the road.
  2. I became too distracted by praying for each individual present here today.
  3. There were too many saints on the road… and they were ALL keeping to the speed limit.
  4. I took Communion with my family before I left, so obviously I had to finish it off. Therefore I had to walk.
  5. I was on my way and started praying… maybe I shouldn’t have closed my eyes whilst driving…
  6. The angels didn’t fly me here quick enough.
  7. I felt led to drive here via a less sensible route.
  8. I couldn’t have got here any faster without running… and you know… Proverbs 28.
  9. I felt led to pray for this meeting before I came. I felt a lot of prayer was needed…
  10. I am not late. I am here exactly when the Holy Spirit meant for me to be here.

Any more you would try?

*All excuses also apply for times when you’re late to Housegroup.

10 Ways To Get The Church Leader To Love You

How-To-Make-Your-Church-Leader-Love-You

Lets face it. There’s a reason why we get nervous about the vicar (or any Church leader) coming to visit us. It’s because the Church Leader is basically the closest to God we can basically get right?

Otherwise, how else would the Church Leader be a Church Leader right?

So following that logic, wouldn’t it be good if the Church leader loved us right?

Here are 10 ways to get the Church Leader to love you.

  1. Raise your hands in worship at least twice every Sunday.
  2. Make it clear that PCC Top Trumps is indeed your favourite game.
  3. During the sermon shout out helpful, slightly related Bible verses, my favourite is 2 Kings 2:23-24.
  4. Doodle complimentary things about God and the Church in the Church Bibles.
  5. As you leave ‘hum’ parts of the sermon to yourself, so he doesn’t feel jealous of the worship leader.
  6. During the sermon shout out AMEN! Every 2 minutes…
  7. Dress like your church leader. Bonus points if you’re not the same gender, or if your Church leader wears really big robes.
  8. Make your ‘fly needs checking’ motions halfway through the service.
  9. At least a week beforehand, ask what their main points in the sermon will be, so you can read up on it. This may also act as a prompt for them to start working on the sermon, which would be even better.
  10. Mark their sermons 10 out of 10 each week. Use big boards, and hold them up at the back of the Church towards the end of sermon. Encourage people around you to cheer and applause when you do.

Any other suggestions that you would add?