What colour will you wear at Church this Easter?
What Colour Will You Wear At Church?
Religions Through The Ages…
Weekly Round up of Stuff – The Beer Edition
My Regular feature about random little things I’ve spotted online this week.
Something about Trump being Esther…
No Donald Trump has not had a sex change and started calling himself Esther! Well… I don’t think he has… Anyway, The Christian Broadcast Network has interviewed Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, during which… well…
Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said Thursday that it is “possible” that President Trump is meant to save the Jewish people.
He made the comments during an interview in Jerusalem with the Christian Broadcasting Network.
“As a Christian I certainly believe that’s possible,” Pompeo responded when asked whether Trump is a new Esther, who in the Bible convinced the king of Persia not to slaughter the Jewish people. ADVERTISEMENT
The CBN interview falls on Purim, a Jewish holiday that marks Esther’s story.
The CBN hosts in questioning Pompeo referred to Iran as the modern-day threat to the Jewish people. Trump last year withdrew the U.S. from the Iranian nuclear treaty and reimposed sanctions on the country.
thehill.com
Check out the rest at thehill.com. There’s also a video of the interview… but that acted strange for me…
Update… and a video of it on Twitter…
Vicar Complains About Own Church
Alright. Typing Vicar Complains About Own Church isn’t the most earth shattering thing to ever type. This dude complained to the council… (Thanks to Jon W for finding this)
The PERFECT LENT THING!!!
Some people give up stuff for Lent. Stuff like Facebook, swearing, and beer…
Other people take up things for Lent, things like acts of kindness, Bible Readings, and beer…
Wait a minute…
I may start canvassing opinion on if I should drink only beer for Lent next year…
What do you reckon?
Mind The Step.
Love this from Origins Photography on Facebook…
Don’t drink too much communion wine before leaving Church…
Christian Excuses For Being Late To A Meeting
I’ve commented before, that the Church does seem to get people working as teams very well. That could be the Church setup team, the Church flower team, the preaching team, the welcoming team, the Church team, the list goes on…
And obviously, every now and then, meetings are arranged, which as much as you try… you don’t seem to get to on time.
What good excuses are there for when you’re late to a Church Meeting*? Here is our list:
- There were too many heathens driving on the road.
- I became too distracted by praying for each individual present here today.
- There were too many saints on the road… and they were ALL keeping to the speed limit.
- I took Communion with my family before I left, so obviously I had to finish it off. Therefore I had to walk.
- I was on my way and started praying… maybe I shouldn’t have closed my eyes whilst driving…
- The angels didn’t fly me here quick enough.
- I felt led to drive here via a less sensible route.
- I couldn’t have got here any faster without running… and you know… Proverbs 28.
- I felt led to pray for this meeting before I came. I felt a lot of prayer was needed…
- I am not late. I am here exactly when the Holy Spirit meant for me to be here.
Any more you would try?
*All excuses also apply for times when you’re late to Housegroup.
10 Ways To Get The Church Leader To Love You
Lets face it. There’s a reason why we get nervous about the vicar (or any Church leader) coming to visit us. It’s because the Church Leader is basically the closest to God we can basically get right?
Otherwise, how else would the Church Leader be a Church Leader right?
So following that logic, wouldn’t it be good if the Church leader loved us right?
Here are 10 ways to get the Church Leader to love you.
- Raise your hands in worship at least twice every Sunday.
- Make it clear that PCC Top Trumps is indeed your favourite game.
- During the sermon shout out helpful, slightly related Bible verses, my favourite is 2 Kings 2:23-24.
- Doodle complimentary things about God and the Church in the Church Bibles.
- As you leave ‘hum’ parts of the sermon to yourself, so he doesn’t feel jealous of the worship leader.
- During the sermon shout out AMEN! Every 2 minutes…
- Dress like your church leader. Bonus points if you’re not the same gender, or if your Church leader wears really big robes.
- Make your ‘fly needs checking’ motions halfway through the service.
- At least a week beforehand, ask what their main points in the sermon will be, so you can read up on it. This may also act as a prompt for them to start working on the sermon, which would be even better.
- Mark their sermons 10 out of 10 each week. Use big boards, and hold them up at the back of the Church towards the end of sermon. Encourage people around you to cheer and applause when you do.
Any other suggestions that you would add?
The Weekly Round Up – The Twitter Edition…
Three moments of note from the world of Twitter this week…
When you don’t totally disagree with everything Westboro Baptist Church says…
Its ok. I dont agree with the whole tweet… or able to read the picture file…
When You See Something About a Reservoir Dogs remake
When a cartoon speaks louder then any politician…
Is there anything I’ve missed out?
When you have a new welcomer…
Possible other tricks for Church welcomers could include…
(Affiliate links are below)
- Electric hand buzzers
- See how many leaflets, song sheets, notices, and Bibles. (Yes. Plural). Everyone can be given as they arrive. Take bets on who would drop them all first.
- A Flower Water Squirter… attached to your shirt.
- Ask someone who has never been to your church before to join the welcoming team that one Sunday. Watch the confusion on the faces on the regulars as they realise they have no idea who this person is.*
- Spinning Bow Ties
- Offer everyone a coffee… while its actually an espresso.
- Try and hide your head in your top… balance this where your head should be.
Any you can suggest?
*Actually I have happy memories of accidentally being involved in something like this.
Will we worship artificial intelligence in the future?
I guess Robots wouldn’t make great Gods…
Check out wired.com for more about the AI Religion.