Church News Sheet of The Month

Our secret reporter Matthew has forwarded us an advance copy of the new church news letter from from St Judes in The Marshes.

I for one will be looking forward to learning how to make coffee taste like church at home.

I wonder what the next issue will cover?

Rev Paul Williamson, A Reminder of What Is Not Found in The Bible

Rev Paul Williamson has made a last ditch attempt to halt the consecration of the Church of England’s first female bishop, by shouting during Rev Libby Lane’s ordination: “A female bishop is not found in the Bible”.

Here is Rev Paul Williamson thoughts about women bishops on Sky News.

Well, Sofa would like to remind Rev Paul Williamson of a few other things that aren’t in the Bible:

  1. Dog Collars! Get that thing off your neck!
  2. The “Arch” Deacon.
  3. A Whale swallowing up Jonah.
  4. Nuns… and Monks
  5. Three Kings.
  6. Non alcoholic communion wine.
  7. English people.
  8. A Donkey taking Mary to Bethlehem.
  9. Massive churches to be “filled”.
  10. The Church of England…

Some of these are presumptions, so please feel free to school me on any of the above.

Please feel free to add to the above list below:

When is a table not a table?

The telegraph report into the question of When is a table not a table”:

For many Christians, the altar is the most sacred part of any church.

Covered with a white cloth, it is the holy place where worshippers kneel to receive Communion and feel closer to God. However instead of the body and blood of Christ, one church group has applied to use their blessed altar to serve tea, biscuits and orange squash. Worshippers at the St Michael and All Angels Church in Uffington, Lincolnshire, wanted their oak altar to double up as a place to “serve refreshments”.

But Mark Bishop, chancellor for Lincoln, and a judge of the Church of England’s Consistory Court, decided the altar could only be used for worship, not to serve snacks. Ruling that “an interchangeable use for the altar” was certainly not acceptable, he said a “decent table of wood, stone or other suitable material” should be provided in every church or chapel for celebration of Holy Communion.

He added: “The table, as becomes the table of Lord, shall be kept in a sufficient and seemly manner, and from time to time repaired, and shall be covered in the time of Divine Service with a covering of silk or other decent stuff, and with a fair white linen cloth at the time of the celebration of the Holy Communion.

“It would be completely inappropriate for an altar to be used occasionally for the celebration of Holy Communion, but more frequently ‘for the service of refreshments’.

“The obligation of the Churchwardens is to ensure that the Lord’s Table is kept in a ‘sufficient and seemly manner’ and I am quite satisfied that what is proposed does not amount to that.”

Read the article over at The Telegraph.

If you are on the look our for tables to use in church, I would suggest checking out

Because Boys have to dress like Boys?

Well, heres a little something from yahoo news:

Five-year-old Romeo Clarke has been banned from a church-run after school club – because he insists on wearing princess dresses.

The youngster has a collection of 100 dresses and eight pairs of girls’ high heels which he likes to wear
every day.

But he was booted out of an after school club at his local church after organisers accused him of ‘confusing’ the other children with his choice of clothes.

Furious mum Georgina has lodged a complaint with the church claiming they are discriminating against her son.

Georgina, 36, who has three other children, fumed: ‘I was so cross when I was told he couldn’t wear dresses, I was speechless. All I could ask was “why?”

‘Wearing the dress is his choice and if it makes him happy, it’s fine with me.

‘This is not a case of my son being trapped in a girl’s body, ­ he’s a normal boy who, because he has three big sisters, likes wearing dresses. What is wrong with that?’

Read More


No comment, but a few questions.

  • Is 100 dresses for any 5 year old, a little much?
  • Are kids that easily confused?
  • Could the kid in question just wear school uniform?
  • Has the church been a little heavy handed?

Hopefully for the church concerned this is a storm in a shiny tea cup, which will pass over soon.