Sometimes, my mind wonders. Once I wondered about “Wouldn’t it be funny if a particular situation happened”. The thing is, there would have to be a biblical basis for the trouble was created?
That led to the post 10 ways to create trouble in church… but being biblical about it! – After some ideas from @DavidSJAustin on Twitter, I wondered if there more ideas for the Biblically minded trouble maker…
If you are still in a trouble making mood, and looking for more ideas – then check out our following list:
Call down fire from Heaven.*
Busy Church service? Make a hole in your Church roof to ensure people can get a good view of the speaker.**
Answer the criticism of Biblically inaccurate Hollywood movies, by putting on a Biblically accurate live drama of, The Song of Songs.
Bring your sleeping bag to Church. (Dropped down through the ceiling).
Have a fig tree in or near the Church grounds? Take a cutting, plant it properly, and bring it to Church. If anyone asks, explain you are trying to redeem it as you’re worried its cursed.
Bring your donkey to Church.***
Share honey with people at Church. If they ask where it came from, tell them you found it in a lion carcass.
Bring your dead granny to Church and ask the vicar to raise her up.
Church leader preaching on Noah? Get the taps running. ****
Cover yourself in cornflakes and ring a bell, shouting “unclean, unclean”.
*You may get some odd looks if you do this. ** Heavy tools may be needed.
*** Could get messy.
**** Remember, Life jackets could be useful if the doors are shut.*****
***** Are these stars getting silly now?
Obviously the sofa takes no responsibility for anything you do as a result of reading this. Ever.
My Regular feature about random little things I’ve spotted online this week.
Something about Trump being Esther…
No Donald Trump has not had a sex change and started calling himself Esther! Well… I don’t think he has… Anyway, The Christian Broadcast Network has interviewed Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, during which… well…
He made the comments during an interview in Jerusalem with the Christian Broadcasting Network.
“As a Christian I certainly believe that’s possible,” Pompeo responded when asked whether Trump is a new Esther, who in the Bible convinced the king of Persia not to slaughter the Jewish people. ADVERTISEMENT
The CBN interview falls on Purim, a Jewish holiday that marks Esther’s story.
The CBN hosts in questioning Pompeo referred to Iran as the modern-day threat to the Jewish people. Trump last year withdrew the U.S. from the Iranian nuclear treaty and reimposed sanctions on the country.
I’ve commented before, that the Church does seem to get people working as teams very well. That could be the Church setup team, the Church flower team, the preaching team, the welcoming team, the Church team, the list goes on…
And obviously, every now and then, meetings are arranged, which as much as you try… you don’t seem to get to on time.
What good excuses are there for when you’re late to a Church Meeting*? Here is our list:
There were too many heathens driving on the road.
I became too distracted by praying for each individual present here today.
There were too many saints on the road… and they were ALL keeping to the speed limit.
I took Communion with my family before I left, so obviously I had to finish it off. Therefore I had to walk.
I was on my way and started praying… maybe I shouldn’t have closed my eyes whilst driving…
The angels didn’t fly me here quick enough.
I felt led to drive here via a less sensible route.
I couldn’t have got here any faster without running… and you know… Proverbs 28.
I felt led to pray for this meeting before I came. I felt a lot of prayer was needed…
I am not late. I am here exactly when the Holy Spirit meant for me to be here.
Any more you would try?
*All excuses also apply for times when you’re late to Housegroup.