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What Has The Church Been Up To?

If you’re somewhere on Christian Twitter, you may well have seen this…

To say that Sofa disagree’s with the spirit of the above, is putting it mildly, so, in the spirit of The Sofa, here is The Church Sofa list of what the Church has been up to during Lockdown?

  1. Working with new partners to give out food parcels.
  2. Giving out food parcels to retirement homes in the community.
  3. Foodbanks.
  4. Online worship.
  5. Online prayer meetings.
  6. Setting up sermons via phones.
  7. Dropping sermon DVDs to people.
  8. Supporting the bereaved.
  9. Running services on local BBC radio.

Thats at the top of my head.

Please feel free to add something either you’ve been involved with / heard about / your church has been doing below!

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Zoom Church this week?

One of the great things I’ve found of 2020 is the different approaches people are taking to Church online, be it broadcasting on Youtube, Facebook Live shows, or Zoom meetings…

Those who do Church services on Zoom. Do they look anything like this?

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Church Fashion: The 2020 Collection

Well, for Church this week. Can Sofa suggest something appropriate?

Something, you know, that points to Jesus, and suitable for where you are.

Something like this?

Yes. They are pyjamas. Has anyone worn anything else for the last 7 weeks?

Find it at CafePress.

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Note about this morning.

Just a reminder,

It’s ok if you over slept.

It’s ok if you ran around before Church.

It’s if you were late.

Also a reminder

It’s not ok if you went to a Church Gathering, that’s not social distancing. It’s also not loving your neighbour.

It’s also not ok if you switched the video chat on before you’d finished getting dressed for Church.

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10 MORE ways to create trouble in church… but still being biblical about it!

10 MORE ways to create trouble in church… but being biblical about it!

Sometimes, my mind wonders. Once I wondered about “Wouldn’t it be funny if a particular situation happened”. The thing is, there would have to be a biblical basis for the trouble was created?

That led to the post 10 ways to create trouble in church… but being biblical about it! – After some ideas from @DavidSJAustin on Twitter, I wondered if there more ideas for the Biblically minded trouble maker…

If you are still in a trouble making mood, and looking for more ideas – then check out our following list:

  1. Call down fire from Heaven.*
  2. Busy Church service? Make a hole in your Church roof to ensure people can get a good view of the speaker.**
  3. Answer the criticism of Biblically inaccurate Hollywood movies, by putting on a Biblically accurate live drama of, The Song of Songs.
  4. Bring your sleeping bag to Church. (Dropped down through the ceiling).
  5. Have a fig tree in or near the Church grounds? Take a cutting, plant it properly, and bring it to Church. If anyone asks, explain you are trying to redeem it as you’re worried its cursed.
  6. Bring your donkey to Church.***
  7. Share honey with people at Church. If they ask where it came from, tell them you found it in a lion carcass.
  8. Bring your dead granny to Church and ask the vicar to raise her up.
  9. Church leader preaching on Noah? Get the taps running. ****
  10. Cover yourself in cornflakes and ring a bell, shouting “unclean, unclean”.

*You may get some odd looks if you do this.
** Heavy tools may be needed.
*** Could get messy.
**** Remember, Life jackets could be useful if the doors are shut.*****
***** Are these stars getting silly now?

Obviously the sofa takes no responsibility for anything you do as a result of reading this. Ever.

Any one got other ideas?

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Unfortunate Church Design of The Week…

Somebody. I wish I remember who, once wrote a piece in a publication more highly thought of then The Sofa, that discussed about how powerful Church Marketing is.

I guess they never saw anything like this.

The elders at my brother-in-law’s church got to design the church league softball shirts. The thought “CLI” (Christian Life International) alone wouldn’t signify a church, so they added the cross. Magnificent.
” The elders at my brother-in-law’s church got to design the church league softball shirts. The thought “CLI” (Christian Life International) alone wouldn’t signify a church, so they added the cross. Magnificent. “

There is some discussion over how true this one is, but the original poster seems to come across as consistent in what he’s saying. I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusion.