10 Ways To Get The Church Leader To Love You


Lets face it. There’s a reason why we get nervous about the vicar (or any Church leader) coming to visit us. It’s because the Church Leader is basically the closest to God we can basically get right?

Otherwise, how else would the Church Leader be a Church Leader right?

So following that logic, wouldn’t it be good if the Church leader loved us right?

Here are 10 ways to get the Church Leader to love you.

  1. Raise your hands in worship at least twice every Sunday.
  2. Make it clear that PCC Top Trumps is indeed your favourite game.
  3. During the sermon shout out helpful, slightly related Bible verses, my favourite is 2 Kings 2:23-24.
  4. Doodle complimentary things about God and the Church in the Church Bibles.
  5. As you leave ‘hum’ parts of the sermon to yourself, so he doesn’t feel jealous of the worship leader.
  6. During the sermon shout out AMEN! Every 2 minutes…
  7. Dress like your church leader. Bonus points if you’re not the same gender, or if your Church leader wears really big robes.
  8. Make your ‘fly needs checking’ motions halfway through the service.
  9. At least a week beforehand, ask what their main points in the sermon will be, so you can read up on it. This may also act as a prompt for them to start working on the sermon, which would be even better.
  10. Mark their sermons 10 out of 10 each week. Use big boards, and hold them up at the back of the Church towards the end of sermon. Encourage people around you to cheer and applause when you do.

Any other suggestions that you would add?

How To Be An Efficient Pastor At Christmas

For some people, being a Church Pastor isn’t a job, it’s a calling on your life. It’s a calling that can take up a lot of your time, and place strains on different areas of your life, as you seek to work out what your priorities are. There are no other times like Christmas which are as busy for some pastors.

I’m not going to tell Church Pastors how to manage their time during Christmas, but here are a list of ways I’ve been told that pastors can be truly efficient in how they serve the Lord, their congregation, and have time to celebrate Christmas. Everywhere and with everyone.

1. Get to Church. Ensure there is plenty of alcoholic mulled wine being shared at the start of the service. No one will notice the duplicate sermon you’re preaching from the last service.
2. Don’t want to be that cheeky? Repeat a sermon from last year. If anyone notices give them a chocolate coin as a prize.
3. If choosing christmas carols, always choose the same ones. Everyone would probably love it anyway.
4. Need to read a Bible passage? Stick on the audio recording of David Suchet reading, and have a sit down.
5. Mince Pies = Fuel
6. Ensure you are not well known for returning voice mails.
7. Got an invitation to lead a carol service at the local school? Save time by asking your youth worker to do it. After all the youth worker needs the experience.
8. Somehow program Amazon Echo to cover your speaking engagements for you.
9. Develop odd and awkward dietary requirements. No one will invite you to that 23rd Christmas meal
10. Record yourself on video giving some generic Christmas greetings, then upload said video to your church website. Print out cards that contain just the weblink, give out the said cards to save the time you would spend wishing people a Happy Christmas in person.

If all else fails, buy this guy from Amazon to do some work for you:

Just don’t blow him up in front of other people…

Anything you would add?

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