The Christian Resource Exhibition is hosted this week at the ExCel in London. According to their website, its “the only place to find EVERYTHING under one roof!” And that it has “300+ stands featuring everything to equip and inspire your church from furniture to films, pulpits to puppets, ways to worship and what to wear.”
Well with that many stands, The Sofa decided to compile a list of Christian resources that should exist, and therefore would expect to see at a Christian Resource Exhibition.
A guilt meter! Useful to work out who is feeling more guilty at points during Church sermons, and therefore knowing who to look at what points.
A bottle of patience. (Could just be a be a particular brand of whiskey)
iTithe. An app to remind you to give money away.
A CD of Mark Driscoll’s greatest moments.
The Prophecy Diary. A diary that updates with what you need – before you need it!
iVicar – An android vicar, incase the main one gets broken.
The spirit of God. (in a can that looks and smells that standard deodorant.)
Church Mask – a mask to wear whilst attending church functions which make you want to run and hide.
Remote Vicar Controller. A lead to attach to dog collars.
Church o’Coffee – Premade Church coffee. Get your coffee right everytime!