What To Pack For A Christian Festival?

Welcome to Christian festival season. The time of year when Church buildings become empty, and fields become full of Christian Festivals taking place. With Christian festivals such as Edgefest, New Wine, Keswick, Greenbelt. and Creation Fest, there are plenty to choose from.

But what should you pack to a Christian Festival? What should you try and force into your suitcase? (If anything at all?) Here is the Church Sofa kit list of things to pack for a Christian Festival. (With affiliate links below)

  1. Portable Battery Charger. You know… so you can keep your smart phone charged. Important as how else are you going to read the Bible? (Also helpful for sending tweets to @TheChurchSofa)
  2. Bacon. Bacon is awesome. Be awesome.
  3. Guitar. For leading early morning worship sessions.
  4. Wine. Recently brought. Because what else would you drink?
  5. A Survival skills handbook. Because you never when you may need to show your best “Bear Grylls Skills”.
  6. Fire lighters, in case calling down fire from heaven, doesn’t light your little barbecue.
  7. In case it gets to wet to take out your phone, pack a Waterproof Bible.
  8. A paper map of the festival. Useful for noting down things like secret tunnels,  quiet showers, and people generous with wine.
  9. Water pistols. In case baptisms are needed.
  10. Earplugs. In case your neighbors have also brought a guitar.

What have I missed from the above?

*Perform any of the implied actions above at your risk. Church Sofa doesn’t take any responsibility for most things, not even you ending up in Christian Festival Jail.

Alternative Sermon of The Week – A Call For A Moral Revival

Its not quite a sermon. But it kinda is…

ted.com

Poverty, ecological devastation and oppressive systems are among some of the biggest issues facing America today. Reverend William Barber and Reverend Liz Theoharis believe that it’s time to address these issues with a uniting approach. They’ve traveled the country, following and guiding the Poor People’s Campaign: a wave of nonviolent civil disobedience first started by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Their aim? To shift the narrative around poverty and empower all.

Places for a Christian Nap.

Other good times and places for a nap include…

  • The Sofa.
  • A Bean bag
  • A bed.
  • After you’ve eaten a Haggis.
  • When you’re tempted to go for a run.
  • Under the office desk when everyone else has gone home.
  • The back pew – once the sermon has gone over 25 minutes.

Any other places?

(With thanks to Memes for jesus for the above Bible study in sleep.)