Getting a Christian Bathroom

stylish bathroom with bathtub and bidet

We’ve been in the lucky position recently that we’ve recently had our bathroom renovated. Which means that we’ve had to ask ourselves a lot of bathroom related questions recently.

Here are some of the ideas that we’ve found to go into a Christian Bathroom*. (Affiliate links are below)

  1. A nice big Bath. You know… for people who don’t do baptisms properly.
  2. An ark. You know… to go in the bath.
  3. Have a speaker in there streaming gentle relaxing worship music.
  4. Toilet Paper. With inspirational Christian Tweets printed on them?
  5. Some red wine smelling soap. Because communion.
  6. A label next to the warm water tap, marked as “Holy Water”.
  7. Some bathroom mats.
  8. A glass pen. To write Bible verses on the mirror.
  9. A biblically inspirational shower curtain.
  10. A nice big sink… you know… for people who don’t do baptisms properly.

What would you add?

*Not all of these ideas were accepted into the final bathroom look.

Does your worship leader like coffee?

Lets face it.

Church is a bit weird at the moment.

And while there’s a lot of chat online about preaching a sermon to a camera, compared to a congregation. There’s not of chat about worship leaders….

Lets not forget. Worship leaders need love as well – particularly during this strange and weird times. Why don’t you get them a mug? Like this…

Find it on Amazon. (affiliate link)

Looking Back At My Christian Goals For 2020

crop office employee taking notes in notebook at table

Alright, so I’ve just stumbled on a list of Christian goals I wrote for 2020. As they were posted up here, I’m fairly certain they were goals that were not meant to be taken seriously, I wanted to take a moment to look at how they had all gone.

Warning. If you want to read a tale of achievement, look away now. (Actually this probably isn’t the blog for you anyway)

Here is how I did with my planned goals for 2020. (Or at least some of them – I wrote quite a few goals down…)

Go to church once or twice.Well the good news is I succeeded here. I did indeed go to church once or twice. Doesn’t feel like much more in person…

“Learn Ancient Greek” So I went from having super low expectations to either having super high expectations… I hope I was just joking. (Ancient Greek readers – Please don’t hate me)… most of these comments could also apply to when I wrote “read the bible”. (Put the burning pitchforks down people – I think I meant reading all of it)

“Pray every now and then”.

Praying “God. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?” counts right?

“Enjoy Gods Not Dead 3.” It hasn’t seemed to make it to Netflix… So I guess that one remains on my “watch list”.

“Enjoy Church Squash” I guess one disadvantage to lockdown is that I’m confined to drinking my own squash?

“Read any book” I’ve just finished reading “Checkpoint” – Basically a look at how video games help our mental health. Totally recommended. Get it here, and I might get a few pence because of it.

“Write that ebook I joked about once”

I actually forgot about this one. I think the idea was to take the argument “its not in the Bible”, and take everything that we assume is ok, or “biblical”, and try and work out where it came from.

Perhaps this is the year for it?

Something To Help A Swearing Christian?

Are you, or do you know a sweary Christian?

Maybe, not a lot of swearing – but sometimes struggles with… having language that doesn’t quite behave…

Lets face it.

If you’re drinking coffee, you’re not saying bad words… how about getting something like this? (affiliate link)

Find it on Amazon. (affiliate link)

Christian Movie of The Week

Yes. Its a movie time travel about apparently Islamic Terrorists capturing time travel technology, and going back in time to assassinate Jesus.

I might wait for its release onto Netflix.

h/t to Christian Nightmares

Trying Out The C of E Amazon Alexa Skill

Church-of-England-Amazon-Alexa-Skill

Want to understand the Church of England a bit more? You can know ask Amazon Alexa.

Alexa, Amazons voice assistant that is available on everything from the Amazon Echo / Dot devices to various tablets and TV sticks, has the option to install a skill that allows users to ask extra questions… about almost anything (presuming the right skill has been installed.)

The Church of England Skill?

Well according to the Amazon website you can ask questions such as…

• To read the prayer for the day
• For grace before a meal
• To read the Lord’s Prayer
• What is the Bible?
• Say a bedtime prayer
• Who is the Archbishop of Canterbury?
• Find my nearest church
• Can I get married in church?

The Amazon page for The C of E Skill has more details, and the links to enable the skill on your device.

Perhaps I just wanted to say “Open the Church of England”, but I figured I would give it ago…

I also wondered what Alexa would be like at saying Grace…

On the surface I guess it may seem like an oddity, but its good to see the good old Church of England, branching out and doing something a little different to engage with people.

Check out The Church Times for a proper report into this, but be warned. That website contains far less Lego figures.

Question. If the Baptist Union creates an Alexa skill, and we installed that on one Echo Dot, and we installed the C of E skill on another Amazon device, would they argue about baptism between the two of them?

(On a side note, this may be the first ever Church Sofa that features my voice. Before I know it, I’ll be producing a podcast or a vlog or something)

 

A T Shirt For A Christian GOOD at Lent?

Do you “do” Lent?

Are you “good” at Lent?

Are you thinking of giving up, not just one or two things – but ALL THE THINGS!!!????

Save time having conversations about Lent with this T Shirt!

Perfect for a humble Christian giving up EVERYTHING for Lent!

Get it (and support the Sofa), from Redbubble.

PLEASE NOTE. Its totally not me in the above picture. My hair doesn’t look that good.

Spreading Joy at A Christian Festival

Sofa may receive some some money (not much) if you click on some of the links below…

Over the next month and a bit there will be loads of Christian Festivals all around England, which will attract many Christians from many different Churches from all over the place. With festivals such as Momentum, New Wine, Soul Survivor, Keswick, Greenbelt. and Creation Fest, there are plenty to choose from.

In an attempt to get into the Festival spirit, Sofa decided to write the annual Church Sofa list of the best ways to create trouble at a Christian Festival ask around for ways to spread some “Joy” at these events…

  1. Have a supply of sweets to give out to people.
  2. Be servant hearted. Serve warm milky hot chocolate each night of the festival to the tents around you. On the last night, mix it up with espresso.
  3. Walk up to any musicians / famous Christian singer types and ask if they are U2.
  4. Print a T-Shirt saying “Its not like it used to be around here”.
  5. Walk around with an open wifi hotspot in your pocket. Lock it down so people can only access another festival website.
  6. Lead late night worship sessions. Ensure the worship is honest, by not tuning your guitar… not singing in tune… Also ensure that God can hear by singing loudly.
  7. Ask people if they’ve heard of the Delirious reunion tour, and their “Holy Troublemakers” single*?
  8. Ask everyone for their signature, explain they are all famous in Gods eyes. (Don’t ask famous Christians for their autograph)
  9. Tweet a photo of random peoples signatures to @thechurchsofa. Help me feel included in with the fun.
  10. Be servant hearted. Serve coffee each morning of the festival. Ensure it’s decaf on the last morning.

For more ideas, please check out last years list, Managing Mischief At A Christian Festival.

Disclaimer: Do any of these at your own risk, the Sofa takes no responsibility for any trouble that happens to you if you do this, but if you do end up in Christian Festival Jail, please let us know what that’s like.

*i may have made this up, but there is a song on Stu G’s “The Beatitudes Project” called Holy Troublemakers, which could be mistaken for a reunion.