Missing The Christian Festival Vibe?

Are you recently home from a Christian Festival? Missing it? Are you missing not just the people, the worship, the Bible teaching, but are you missing the whole vibe of being there?

Here are the Church Sofa 10 tips to recreate the Christian Festival Vibe in your life.

  1. Don’t Shower.
  2. Hang around outside playing an acoustic guitar. At 11:30pm.
  3. Have bare feet while visiting your local Christian bookshop. Better if they are muddy.
  4. Always use the outside toilet. Don’t have one? Improvise.
  5. Insist on paying money for the after church coffee.
  6. Get rid of your old wine*. Only drink New Wine.
  7. Volunteer for the sound team at church, adjust the worship teams volume up to 11.
  8. Have a garden? Get your tent out – that’s your new bedroom.  (Also see point 2) 
  9. Don’t shower before Church. Muddy bare feet are again a bonus. 
  10. Expect miracles.

*Contact Sofa for information on how to remove your old wine. 

The Christian Festival Emergency Kit of Stuff.

Every now and then, the Sofa writes something that gets out of date. A few days ago, Sofa published a (possibly*) useful list of things to pack for a Christian Festival. Since then the weather has turned a little more apocalyptic…

So. In honour of the current apocalypse raging in the clouds above, here is the the Church Sofa Christian Festival Emergency Kit of Stuff. (Affiliate links be below)

Obviously if you’re struggling to enjoy being somewhere due to the weather at the moment… hopefully this will get some sort of smile…

Not Noahs Ark.

You dont need Noahs Ark! This is the boat you need! It will fit in your car, and you can use it to get to the showers! Grab it now from Amazon!

Wellies!

The perfect kit to cook breakfast in! (But please also wear other items if outside your tent).

Find these pink sparkly numbers here.

Bring A Waterproof Bible

Is it gonna be wet?

Like to read your Bible outside? Or… in a puddle?

Try A Waterproof Bible?

For when the Sun comes out…

Keep covered from the sun with Jesus… on the cross.

Probably best saved for Easter?

Amazon Link.

Something for the Dark?

Make sure you bring a torch!

Anything else that should be included?

*Or possibly not.

What To Pack For A Christian Festival?

Welcome to Christian festival season. The time of year when Church buildings become empty, and fields become full of Christian Festivals taking place. With Christian festivals such as Edgefest, New Wine, Keswick, Greenbelt. and Creation Fest, there are plenty to choose from.

But what should you pack to a Christian Festival? What should you try and force into your suitcase? (If anything at all?) Here is the Church Sofa kit list of things to pack for a Christian Festival. (With affiliate links below)

  1. Portable Battery Charger. You know… so you can keep your smart phone charged. Important as how else are you going to read the Bible? (Also helpful for sending tweets to @TheChurchSofa)
  2. Bacon. Bacon is awesome. Be awesome.
  3. Guitar. For leading early morning worship sessions.
  4. Wine. Recently brought. Because what else would you drink?
  5. A Survival skills handbook. Because you never when you may need to show your best “Bear Grylls Skills”.
  6. Fire lighters, in case calling down fire from heaven, doesn’t light your little barbecue.
  7. In case it gets to wet to take out your phone, pack a Waterproof Bible.
  8. A paper map of the festival. Useful for noting down things like secret tunnels,  quiet showers, and people generous with wine.
  9. Water pistols. In case baptisms are needed.
  10. Earplugs. In case your neighbors have also brought a guitar.

What have I missed from the above?

*Perform any of the implied actions above at your risk. Church Sofa doesn’t take any responsibility for most things, not even you ending up in Christian Festival Jail.

Alternative Activities During A Christian Festival

Christian festivals are great. Loads of stuff happening, from great speakers, and great people, to great bands, and tolerable food.

Loads of stuff happening, all the time. But what if you’re someone whose attention gets distracted at the best of times.

What if you find yourself wanting something a little different to do?* Here are ten ideas of alternative activities that can be done at a Christian festival.

  1. Say “Amen” with every point that the speaker makes. Get gradually louder as the talk progresses. Encourage others around you to join. See how loud you can all get. **
  2. If attending any Soul Survivor festival, dress like your attending a funeral. All week. And everytime some says “Soul Survivor”, you whisper”Long may it Rest in Peace”.
  3. Are you attending Creation Fest? Set up a stall saying, “Cream First. Change my mind”
  4. Facebook friend EVERYONE YOU MEET!!! Show you’re an awesome Christian by tagging them in inspirational Bible verse images.
    Once an hour.
    Every hour.
  5. See anyone eating bread? Offer them a glass of red wine. So they can eat like Jesus ate.***
  6. Start a rumour that the rumour about Delirious having a reunion show at the festival is simply a rumour. See what happens.
  7. If stuck in a heatwave. Play “Rain Down” really loudly, on an old guitar. Explain that you’re praying for the rain to come.
  8. See anyone drinking wine? Ask if you can share their communion.
  9. Live stream your whole festival experience on Facebook Live. ALL of it. Let me know what happens.
  10. Apologise for the late night guitar playing, by serving really strong decaff coffee every morning to the tents around you. Serve proper stuff in the evenings.

Any more you think that should be added?

* Please be careful. The Church Sofa takes no responsibility if you end up in Christian festival jail… or actual jail… or where ever…
**Be careful. This may lead to accidental reports of Revival breaking out. Due to you messing around.
On second thoughts. That could be quite funny.
*** MIght get expensive.

Soul Survivor. Good Bye.

Mike Pilavachi from Soul Survivor, has announced, the Soul Survivor Festivals are to close.

There’s a text version of the above found at the Soul Survivor website, which includes a snippet which I’m sure I remember from my Soul Survivor Days. (20 – ish years ago)

“we know that God said, ‘I will build my church’ – he never said, ‘I will build my Soul Survivor’. Our passion has always been to support the local church where faith is lived out as family week in and week out, not to create our own movement.”

I can’t help but think that closing 5 (I think), festivals really shows this.

There was a temptation to say something rude / sarcastic / silly…something a bit “Church Sofa” about all this.

I can’t.

For all the Live CDs, the festivals, books, Delirious / Tree / Sarah Mason gigs.

For that silly Bible365 thing we did on The Sofa.

For the interestingly quiet queues for the shower (during the alter calls).

I guess.

Thank you.

(In case you need something more silly to read, can I suggested “Spreading Joy At A Christian Festival“, and the related posts – they are possibly inspired in some way by Soul Survivor. Possibly.)

 

What Christians Do On Holiday?

Sofa has finally got round to booking some holiday. Now we dont have much booked in, so I consulted a few local church people for ideas of what a Christian should do on holiday.

Here’s a few ideas of what a Christian should do on holiday.

Go and look at some old churches.

Because they are kinda pretty….

Sit somewhere nice and enjoy the view.

Interrupt the  evening of those around you, by asking if they know and love Jesus. Keep talking until they do.

Try Out Your Local Christian Festival.

Could try evangelizing there?

Read your Bible.

Go out somewhere interesting*, and read your bible somewhere a little interesting. Tweet me a picture or something afterwards.

Drink Water. Plenty of Water.

 

Any other suggestions?

*interesting – NOT stupid. I DO NOT WANT PEOPLE TO FALL OF A CLIFF OR DROWN OR ANYTHING!!!

Being Bored At A Christian Festival

We’ve all been there. You know everyone is having fun, but you cant help but feel a little bored.
For some reason you can’t find anything to occupy your brain with.
Well, when you’re away from home, this can be rubbish. Therefore The Church Sofa has put together this little wheel spinner, to help you decide what to do, if you’re bored at a Christian Festival.

Any you would add?

Spreading Joy at A Christian Festival

Sofa may receive some some money (not much) if you click on some of the links below…

Over the next month and a bit there will be loads of Christian Festivals all around England, which will attract many Christians from many different Churches from all over the place. With festivals such as Momentum, New Wine, Soul Survivor, Keswick, Greenbelt. and Creation Fest, there are plenty to choose from.

In an attempt to get into the Festival spirit, Sofa decided to write the annual Church Sofa list of the best ways to create trouble at a Christian Festival ask around for ways to spread some “Joy” at these events…

  1. Have a supply of sweets to give out to people.
  2. Be servant hearted. Serve warm milky hot chocolate each night of the festival to the tents around you. On the last night, mix it up with espresso.
  3. Walk up to any musicians / famous Christian singer types and ask if they are U2.
  4. Print a T-Shirt saying “Its not like it used to be around here”.
  5. Walk around with an open wifi hotspot in your pocket. Lock it down so people can only access another festival website.
  6. Lead late night worship sessions. Ensure the worship is honest, by not tuning your guitar… not singing in tune… Also ensure that God can hear by singing loudly.
  7. Ask people if they’ve heard of the Delirious reunion tour, and their “Holy Troublemakers” single*?
  8. Ask everyone for their signature, explain they are all famous in Gods eyes. (Don’t ask famous Christians for their autograph)
  9. Tweet a photo of random peoples signatures to @thechurchsofa. Help me feel included in with the fun.
  10. Be servant hearted. Serve coffee each morning of the festival. Ensure it’s decaf on the last morning.

For more ideas, please check out last years list, Managing Mischief At A Christian Festival.

Disclaimer: Do any of these at your own risk, the Sofa takes no responsibility for any trouble that happens to you if you do this, but if you do end up in Christian Festival Jail, please let us know what that’s like.

*i may have made this up, but there is a song on Stu G’s “The Beatitudes Project” called Holy Troublemakers, which could be mistaken for a reunion.

Managing Mischief At A Christian Festival

Over the next month and a half there will be various Christian Festivals all around England, that will attract many Christians from all different Churches over the place. With festivals such as Momentum, New Wine, Soul Survivor, Keswick, Greenbelt. and Creation Fest, there are plenty to choose from.

As its the Summer Christian Festival Season, it is also time for the annual Church Sofa list of the best ways to create trouble at a Christian Festival… Consider this list in case you get bored or something…

  1. Spend the week “springing” around the festival. When questioned explain that you thought you were at Spring Harvest. (You may only want to actually do this at Spring Harvest*)
  2. Bring supplies of spare wellies** to sell. If its a hot sunny week, spray water over the grounds early in the morning in an attempt to convince people the weather is about to turn nasty.
  3. Greet people you meet with a Holy Kiss.
  4. Set up a stall offering to wash peoples feet. Once done charge them a tenner. If they say no, chase after them with the cheesey feet water.
  5. Run around naked, when challenged explain you are trying to recreate the world before The Fall.
  6. If you’re at Soul Survivor in Somerset, walk around planting “Goodbye” cards into the ground.
  7. “Borrow” a radio from one of the stewards. Begin whispering down the radio whenever they start to look bored. Topic of whispering is up to you.
  8. Make notes about how much more biblical your Christian Festival is compared to others!
  9. Open a stand offering to exchange people’s old wine for “New wine”. Run away before people realise that the “New wine”, is in fact, Ribena.
  10. Bring a megaphone to the festival with you. Early during the first morning, scream into the megaphone, then hide it quickly. When people rush to your tent to ask whats wrong, apologise and explain you just had a nightmare. Explain its been a problem since your tent was flooded one year at a previous Christian Festival. Be warned, you may end up with severe Prayer Ministry if you do this.

Any that you would like to add?

For more ideas, please check out last years list, 10 Ways To Manage Mischief At A Christian Festival.

Disclaimer: Do any of these at your own risk, the Sofa takes no responsibility for any trouble that happens to you if you do this, but if you do end up in Christian Festival Jail, please let us know what that’s like.

*As if you do this anywhere else, people may look at you strangely
** I may have checked the spelling of that a few times.