10 Ways To Get The Church Leader To Love You

Lets face it. There’s a reason why we get nervous about the vicar (or any Church leader) coming to visit us. It’s because the Church Leader is basically the closest to God we can basically get right?

Otherwise, how else would the Church Leader be a Church Leader right?

So following that logic, wouldn’t it be good if the Church leader loved us right?

Here are 10 ways to get the Church Leader to love you.

  1. Raise your hands in worship at least twice every Sunday.
  2. Make it clear that PCC Top Trumps is indeed your favourite game.
  3. During the sermon shout out helpful, slightly related Bible verses, my favourite is 2 Kings 2:23-24.
  4. Doodle complimentary things about God and the Church in the Church Bibles.
  5. As you leave ‘hum’ parts of the sermon to yourself, so he doesn’t feel jealous of the worship leader.
  6. During the sermon shout out AMEN! Every 2 minutes…
  7. Dress like your church leader. Bonus points if you’re not the same gender, or if your Church leader wears really big robes.
  8. Make your ‘fly needs checking’ motions halfway through the service.
  9. At least a week beforehand, ask what their main points in the sermon will be, so you can read up on it. This may also act as a prompt for them to start working on the sermon, which would be even better.
  10. Mark their sermons 10 out of 10 each week. Use big boards, and hold them up at the back of the Church towards the end of sermon. Encourage people around you to cheer and applause when you do.

Any other suggestions that you would add?

Need An Alternative Bible?

Its a new year, its a time for things to start afresh, and break our resolutions!

To help you keep that resolution to read your Bible more, here is our big list of Alternative Bibles!

The Minecraft Bible

Do you know someone who needs a Bible?

How about someone who enjoys the computer version of Lego known as Minecraft?

Bible-Minecraft

Available from Amazon

This Tiny Bible

Small-Bible

Obviously for really tiny people

The Manga Bible

Manga-Bible

One for fans of the Japanese way of cartoons.

Available from here.

Brick Bible

Rae you a fan of Lego?

Are you a fan of the Bible?

You might enjoy The Brick Bible

cover

Klingon Bible

Yes.

A Klingon Bible. As in the language spoken by Klingons in Star Trek.

Yes. There is a Bible translation in Klingon.

Its not available to buy, but you can view it online!

LoLCat

And you thought a Klingon Bible was.. different…

51uYdO9P4eLAvailable from Amazon… if you must…

Any other Bibles you can suggest?

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission.I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

 

 

Tips To Help Christians Celebrate Christmas

As someone who listens to Christian radio on a regular basis, I often hear phrases similar to “What is a Christian response to…” With this in mind (as well as our rich history of giving tips to Christians wanting to do things a Christian way), I wondered what tips I could find, to help Christians celebrate Christmas.*

  1. Whilst you /your family / housemates / toddler / small child lays peacefully in bed, gently waking up, play a gentle Bible reading around the house, so everyone’s minds are focused on scripture all day long.
  2. Before you open any presents. Dont forget to pray thanking God for the gift of his son Jesus.
  3. Ensure you are at Church on time to be on the (probably already full) front row. After all, that’s where the real celebration is.
  4. Spend the evening knocking on your neighbours doors, ask them if they’re also celebrating the birth of our Lord. If they give anything that isn’t a positive answer, offer to pray in tongues over them. Try and aim for the start of Doctor Who.
  5. Drink non alcoholic mulled wine.
  6. Host an outdoor worship service in your garden
  7. Listen to Christian Music Christmas Praise and Music when ever you have a chance.
  8. After opening any present, remember to stop and all pray thanking God for that present.
  9. Only give Bibles (or commentaries) as a Christmas present.
  10. Set up a biblical nativity scene in your front garden. Dont forget the bright lights, screaming baby, animals, animal smell…
  11. Have a smile on your face all day, dont snap at anyone, and always be joyful.

Have you got any tips to add to help Christians celebrate Christmas?

*Well if you’ve ever wondered how some Christians might celebrate Christmas… maybe its best to ignore the above.

Doll Evangelism

Do you know any one who has a toy doll?

It could be a girl, it could be a guy (we dont judge), but either way, that doll owner probably has some possible access to a Bible.

What about the doll? Shouldn’t the doll have access to the Word of God?

Well now thanks to ebay.com, dolls now have access their own Bible. This ebay advert listed as “Real Text Inside Holy Bible 1:6 for Barbie Monster High 18″ American Girl Dolls”. The specifications confirming that this is has “1 x Holy Bible”.

The full ebay advert can be found here.

Is there any smaller Bibles out there?
Are you going to be buying these for your church dolls?