Why we love Ned Flanders!

He is the over the top – stereotypical – evangelical Christian character in The Simpsons. He’s obviously there to get a reaction from certain parts of the Church, and also there just to poke obvious fun at Christianity.

I’m not sure if I’d run away if he tried to speak to me at church or not, but we do love him none the less .

So here are our top 6 reasons why we love Ned Flanders.

  1. THAT Moustache! What a fantastic piece of face decoration, giving such a unique identity to his entire face!
  2. While we’re talking about his appearence – he is always wearing such a splendid green sweater! Gok Wan can learn from this guys style!
  3. Hes the one that you always hope would be at house group so you dont have to answer the questions.
  4. He is always ready. Do you need someone baptised? Ned has an Emergency Baptism Kit! (Can you buy those from anywhere?) The guy is even ready to take the Christmas day sermon at a moments notice! (kinda)
  5. He is the best example of a Loving neighbour on our TV screens. How would you cope living next door to Homer Simpson?
  6. He is so committed. When a comet is about to slam in to Springfield, he is calm while Rev Lovejoy panics. On a similar note, when Springfield is about to be blown up in the Simpsons Movie; Ned is found in the Church, with his family, praying to God. I’m not sure where I would be.

Is there hope for Russell Brand?

So is there hope for the loud and kinda crazy Russell Brand?

No mention of Jesus, but this is an interview worth watching – if for no other reason, he at least tries to show himself in a different light to the show we normally get to see.

Are You Religious?

I love this from ASBOJesus:

I dont just duck it, I dive and jump away from it. I get my head down and run away from that question. Quite simply because I dont think I know what it really means. In my mind at least, it means that I go to Church every Sunday, and follow a bunch of rules about what I should and shouldn’t do.

I like to think its more about a relationship with God then anything else.

Maybe one day I’ll stop the ducking and diving, and actually answer the above question.

If you answer it, how do you answer “Are you Religious?”

“Every Life is a Pile of Good Things and Bad Things”

I heard something today about a girl I once knew.

She’d gone travelling around Africa – gone to find herself… seek inspiration to help her change the world.

I got a phone call today… She’s come home early, due to being attacked and robbed.

Nasty Stuff.

I was going to try and write something deep…and something meaningful. Instead I’ll share the words of @notbovvered:

The sun shines and the rain pours on the righteous and wicked alike. Life isn’t fair: it just is…

I’ll leave you with the closing moments of Doctor Who – “Vincent and the Doctor”


Doctor Who 2005 5×10 Vincent and the Doctor 3
Uploaded by IDavros. – Classic TV and last night’s shows, online.

Church Pews v Seats Research

It has come to our attention recently that our site has become a bedrock of knowledge in the research field of “Church Pews or Seats”.

Whilst we hope to continue our work in this field, we do need a grant to help us investigate further. An example of where our research could go, is a close examination of churches, and how people sit.

So we can possibly link up and develop our work further, please let us know if you know of other centres of this research.

If you would like to support us please get in touch.

What to do in a boring sermon!

If you’re anything like me about 5 minutes into most sermons you might find your mind wandering off. The first thing I have to say about that is ‘bad mind, very bad mind’…or maybe not! Sometimes this wandering off might be that you’ve got a lot on your mind like something at work, what you would have been doing if you hadn’t been dragged along to church or any number of other things.

There is however that rare occasion as every preacher will tell you that the sermon is just boring. Here’s some challenges for you to do that will hopefully amuse you and those around you when you find yourself in such a situation.

  • See if you can tie your neighbours shoe laces to their chair or pew whilst pretending to be deep in contemplative prayer.
  • Search the weekly update sheet for mistypes to point out to the vicar later.
  • For the more charismatic types, lay down. Sleep. See how long it takes to be awoken by the sounds of people praying over you.
  • Cough every time the preacher says the word God/Jesus and see if anyone catches on.
  • Repeatedly try to catch the preachers eye and wink at them.
  • Tweet a message to The Church Sofa.
  • Attempt to get your row to do a mexican wave.
  • Hum the mission impossible theme tune and see if you can get out with out anyone seeing.
  • Every time the preacher asks a rhetorical question, answer it out loud.
  • Pull faces at the preacher and see how long it is before they laugh.

Let us know how you get on with these and if you have any more suggestions let us know!

The chair vs. pew debate continues part 2

Well we wouldn’t want anyone to think that we at the church sofa are biased in any way, so I’m going to give some reasons as to why the chair is mightier than the pew.

  • Chairs are usually more comfortable
  • Chairs work very well as foot rests, pews are much more damaging to the ankles
  • Can be set up for slalom races…better than straight line races any day
  • The give the health and safety person something to moan about when they’re stacked 5 times the height of the tallest person in the church
  • More useful as building blocks (i.e if you want to find out what Solomon’s temple looked like during a boring sermon)
  • On the subject of boring sermons a pew would be very hard work to throw at the preacher a chair on the other hand…
  • When you’re told to take a seat, with a chair you could literally take it with you
  • There is always one really bad chair that you don’t want…this encourages people to be on time
  • You can lean back on a chair on 2 legs,  I know that is not what it was made for but we all do it
  • The youth worker is kept happy with chairs for when they have a crazy idea involving the whole church building, like when I turned the church into a beach by filling it with sand, turning the heat up, lighting a BBQ and playing volleyball!