Alternative – Socially Distanced – Christmas Service Ideas

Once upon a time. In a simpler pre-covid age, Sofa wrote a little thing about Alternative Christmas Service Ideas, and as a post. Its fine. You can argue some of it could be adjusted for a socially distanced church service, but… some of them might take work.

With that in mind, may I present* the Church Sofa…

Alternative – Socially Distanced – Christmas Service Ideas…

  1. Ok. Lets face it. Inviting a group of people anywhere may not be the best the thing to do right now. So – lets bring it to the people. Find a heavily pregnant lady and ask her to walk around the local streets. Knocking on peoples door, asking if theres any room in the inn.
  2. Add a hassled husband into the mix.
  3. Have a live donkey with them as well. Don’t forget to walk the long donkey up to the house whilst they are being asked if there is any room. Bonus points if the donkey leaves any “bonus” gifts on the door step. It will add to the atmosphere.
  4. Have a socially distanced choir follow the couple and donkey.
  5. Livestream a Christmas reading. Just outside the open window to a labour ward. See if any “bonus sounds” get picked up.
  6. Live stream a reading of the shepherds, in the light of a camp fire. Possibly on the church carpert. Granted someone on the PCC / a Deacon / Church Wardens, may come after you, but the young people will love it. Besides. It might be a while until anyone notices.
  7. Do you normally have a midnight service? Try and have drop a little bottle of port around everyones houses. See if anyone has it by the time the service starts.
  8. Is there anyone pregnant in your church? Get them to change their Facebook name to “Mary”, then a few days before encourage her say she has to go on a journey… and the travel arrangements aren’t great.
  9. Raise money for Sofa to make the Christmas Carol Service Bingo Card – an app. Therefore cutting down on paper being given out to people.
  10. Its Christmas. Its not cancelled! Its a time of celebration! Live stream fireworks being set off! Just dont have the donkey involved with it.

*Some of this might actually get you arrested, or result in a fire or something… The Sofa doesn’t take any responsibility – for anything – let alone the internet getting into trouble.

Are there any you would add?

Donald. Here are your best bits.

Well. After 4 years, in which Donald Trump has featured here… a few times… It would be remiss of Sofa not to share something about the election results.

In the of him leaving The White House, I felt it best to not comment directly, but instead highlight some of (his family friendly) best bits of the last few years.

Donald Trump – And His Favourite Bible Verse

Donald Trump and Christian Revival

Donald Trump and The Prayer Of The Week

Yes. Donald Trump retweeted this.

Donald Trump. The Chosen One.

And a bonus one… Supporting Trump if You’re Saved.

What would you add?

The Morning After The Night Before…

Well.

Sofa is aware that he occupies a very niche area in the world of blogs.

Some sort of weird church place? With an interest in an American approach?

So. What the heck is a sofa meant to say the day after an American election, in which both sides are claiming that God is on their side?

I don’t have a clue.

Dear America,

Dear America,

Remember.

You are the country that has given us many many great things, including, but not just Coke. You were the “cool” country when I was a teenager.

Sofa still thinks you’re quite cool in your way. (Lets pretend the last series of Scrubs didn’t happen).

Please do us all a favour.

Really try hard today.

Thanks.