Once upon a time. In a simpler pre-covid age, Sofa wrote a little thing about Alternative Christmas Service Ideas, and as a post. Its fine. You can argue some of it could be adjusted for a socially distanced church service, but… some of them might take work.
With that in mind, may I present* the Church Sofa…
Alternative – Socially Distanced – Christmas Service Ideas…
Ok. Lets face it. Inviting a group of people anywhere may not be the best the thing to do right now. So – lets bring it to the people. Find a heavily pregnant lady and ask her to walk around the local streets. Knocking on peoples door, asking if theres any room in the inn.
Add a hassled husband into the mix.
Have a live donkey with them as well. Don’t forget to walk the long donkey up to the house whilst they are being asked if there is any room. Bonus points if the donkey leaves any “bonus” gifts on the door step. It will add to the atmosphere.
Have a socially distanced choir follow the couple and donkey.
Livestream a Christmas reading. Just outside the open window to a labour ward. See if any “bonus sounds” get picked up.
Live stream a reading of the shepherds, in the light of a camp fire. Possibly on the church carpert. Granted someone on the PCC / a Deacon / Church Wardens, may come after you, but the young people will love it. Besides. It might be a while until anyone notices.
Do you normally have a midnight service? Try and have drop a little bottle of port around everyones houses. See if anyone has it by the time the service starts.
Is there anyone pregnant in your church? Get them to change their Facebook name to “Mary”, then a few days before encourage her say she has to go on a journey… and the travel arrangements aren’t great.
Imagine, somewhere out there, someone is typing up some hymns to be sung at Church. The Sofa family once used Microsoft Publisher for this, and occasionally… mistakes were made. (Don’t worry, someone in the church family lovingly pointed it out)
What if, someone typed up church songs and hymns, while depending on autocorrect?What would autocorrected church hymns look like? (Or at least the chorus anyway…)
Amazing Grace How sweet the sound That saved a wrench like me I once was lost but now am found Was blind but now I see
O lord my god When I in awesome wonderful Consider all the people they’re hands have made I see the attached I hear the rolling thunder They’re power throughout the universal displayed
Holler holler holler lord god almighty Early in the morning our song shall raise to thee Holler holler holler Mercifully and mighty God in three persons, Blessings trinity
Blessings for the lord Oh my days oh my gosh Worship his holy Bible Sing like never beforehand, o my soul I’ll worship your holy name
Yesterday, today’s, and foreign? You are the same, you never change, Yesterday, today’s, and foreign? You are faithful, cor well trusting you.
Be thought my vision O lord of my hearts Naughty be all else to me, save that thou artist Thought my best though by day or by nights Waking it sleeping Thy presences my Lightyear