Are You Religious?

I love this from ASBOJesus:

I dont just duck it, I dive and jump away from it. I get my head down and run away from that question. Quite simply because I dont think I know what it really means. In my mind at least, it means that I go to Church every Sunday, and follow a bunch of rules about what I should and shouldn’t do.

I like to think its more about a relationship with God then anything else.

Maybe one day I’ll stop the ducking and diving, and actually answer the above question.

If you answer it, how do you answer “Are you Religious?”

Church Pews v Seats Research

It has come to our attention recently that our site has become a bedrock of knowledge in the research field of “Church Pews or Seats”.

Whilst we hope to continue our work in this field, we do need a grant to help us investigate further. An example of where our research could go, is a close examination of churches, and how people sit.

So we can possibly link up and develop our work further, please let us know if you know of other centres of this research.

If you would like to support us please get in touch.

What to do in a boring sermon!

If you’re anything like me about 5 minutes into most sermons you might find your mind wandering off. The first thing I have to say about that is ‘bad mind, very bad mind’…or maybe not! Sometimes this wandering off might be that you’ve got a lot on your mind like something at work, what you would have been doing if you hadn’t been dragged along to church or any number of other things.

There is however that rare occasion as every preacher will tell you that the sermon is just boring. Here’s some challenges for you to do that will hopefully amuse you and those around you when you find yourself in such a situation.

  • See if you can tie your neighbours shoe laces to their chair or pew whilst pretending to be deep in contemplative prayer.
  • Search the weekly update sheet for mistypes to point out to the vicar later.
  • For the more charismatic types, lay down. Sleep. See how long it takes to be awoken by the sounds of people praying over you.
  • Cough every time the preacher says the word God/Jesus and see if anyone catches on.
  • Repeatedly try to catch the preachers eye and wink at them.
  • Tweet a message to The Church Sofa.
  • Attempt to get your row to do a mexican wave.
  • Hum the mission impossible theme tune and see if you can get out with out anyone seeing.
  • Every time the preacher asks a rhetorical question, answer it out loud.
  • Pull faces at the preacher and see how long it is before they laugh.

Let us know how you get on with these and if you have any more suggestions let us know!

The chair vs. pew debate continues part 2

Well we wouldn’t want anyone to think that we at the church sofa are biased in any way, so I’m going to give some reasons as to why the chair is mightier than the pew.

  • Chairs are usually more comfortable
  • Chairs work very well as foot rests, pews are much more damaging to the ankles
  • Can be set up for slalom races…better than straight line races any day
  • The give the health and safety person something to moan about when they’re stacked 5 times the height of the tallest person in the church
  • More useful as building blocks (i.e if you want to find out what Solomon’s temple looked like during a boring sermon)
  • On the subject of boring sermons a pew would be very hard work to throw at the preacher a chair on the other hand…
  • When you’re told to take a seat, with a chair you could literally take it with you
  • There is always one really bad chair that you don’t want…this encourages people to be on time
  • You can lean back on a chair on 2 legs,  I know that is not what it was made for but we all do it
  • The youth worker is kept happy with chairs for when they have a crazy idea involving the whole church building, like when I turned the church into a beach by filling it with sand, turning the heat up, lighting a BBQ and playing volleyball!

Why church pews are better then chairs.

Why church pews are better then chairs.

  1. We know what to expect when we walk into the church hall.
  2. Solid climbing frame.
  3. Mini race tracks.
  4. Easier to keep track of ‘your pew’
  5. You can talk for ages after the service and not have anyone try and stack your pew away from under you.
  6. You can save your chewing gum for next time.
  7. A handy shelf for supplies like bibles, song books, notice sheets, coke, and chocolate.
  8. Put a few cushions down, get a blanket, and you’ve got yourself somewhere to kip.
  9. If you have doors on the end of the pews, you could charge people access rights to your pew.
  10. “Best burning material since we burned the cat.”

Any other reasons why pews work better then chairs?

Youth work is like…

…Popcorn

That’s right in this post, I am going to be comparing the wonders of youth work to one of the most popular movie time snacks. For some of you, you might only know pop corn in the state it comes at the cinema or in the pack from the supermarket however pop corn starts off as these little tiny kernels that are pretty rubbish really. They’re rather hard, not very tasty and a could easily be misunderstood. Just like young people really, there always seems to be a lot of fear surrounding young people in the ‘adult’ world. Look at the media we have heard loads about ASBO’s and ‘hoodies’ and youth gangs and how young people get an ‘easier time of things’ now. So where’s all the good that they do, both of us here at The Church Sofa are involved in youth work in one way or another. As for me I’ve worked as a youth worker and I’ve trained as one.

There are a few things you need to do to get the pop corn kernels to turn into nice tasty pop corn like you get at the cinema. There is a lot of potential in pop corn kernels and it takes a bit of effort to get there. First you need to have a heat source like the hob on your oven, and a sauce pan to contain it, some oil to spread the heat around and something to fuel to hob (i.e. gas or electric).

This is like working with young people there is loads of potential in young people and if you’ve been called to youth work then you’ve been called to help them become all that God has made them to be. And just like pop corn there’s a lot that needs doing. Young people need prayer, one of the most common things in Jesus’ ministry was prayer. If anyone could get away with not praying I think the Son of God who was also God would be quite a good candidate, but he prayed constantly. So let’s pray for the young people in our churches or that we work with. If you don’t know what to pray for talk to the youth worker or even (dare I say) talk to the young people, but only if you’ve been CRBed.

There also need to be people who are willing to give of their time, talents and resources to help young people develop.

So let’s remember that young people have loads of potential, they are both the church of tomorrow and the church of today. Disciples in training not waiting.