Month: November 2016

Christmas Survival Guide

How To Misbehave During A Church Carol Service

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Have you ever gone to a carol service Church Carol Service, and thought about how well behaved people seem to be? Have you ever got slightly bored and wondered what you could do about it? Or are you wanting to take the focus away from the teenagers that are being unreasonably tutted at? Well you might find some inspiration here in our list of Ten Ways to Misbehave at a Church Carol Service*:

  1. You know those spiky orange things? How well do you reckon they’ll work in a game of marbles?
  2. Keep referring to Christingles as “spiky orange things”.
  3. Find the secret hidden free chocolate stash… and get eating… at the start of the service.
  4. Are you at midnight mass? Swap the red wine for port*…
  5. During silent prayer, stick your hand up and ask when the big red guy is going to turn up?
  6. Do you go to a cool church that sings Christmas carols with up to do lyrics? Help out the worship band by singing the right lyrics, loudly.
  7. Order the Christmas special from your local pizza place
  8. Are you at a candle lit service? See how long you can hold one of the smaller candles for… For bonus points, challenge your neighbour.
  9. Don’t boil the mulled wine enough to get rid of the alcohol.*
  10. Spend the service theologically picking apart the historical and well loved Christmas carols you are seeing. Loudly. Within earshot of the worship team.

*Obviously any of this may really annoy people. Be careful of your audience. Play nice. We accept no responsibility if you end up in Church Jail***!

**You might want to tell any drivers they might actually be over the legal limit to drive. You can blame the youth worker or something…

*** What would Church Jail actually look like?

Any other ideas you’d like to add or admit to?

Christmas Survival Guide

The Christmas Carol Service Bingo Game

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We are slowly entering the season of Christmas Carol Services in Churches around the world.

Have you ever sat in one and felt that it felt oddly familiar? Maybe the service feels the same as a previous one, but with a few changes?

To test that feeling, we have The Christmas Carol Service Bingo Game. Please feel free to print out the below, and share the bingo cards along the back row, during the Carol Services of this upcoming Christmas season.

christmas-carol-service-bingo-game

Obviously, when you get a line, don’t shout AMEN if you complete a line… shout HARK! or something…

Christmas Survival Guide

Introducing – “The Hipster Nativity”

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In previous years, Sofa has spotted a number of different nativity sets. These nativity sets have appealed to people who are fans of coke, hoovers, and aliens. The “Hipster Nativity set” from Modern Nativity, is a generally modern take on the nativity scene, and its filled with hipsters, selfies, and Amazon deliveries.

This video shows a closer look…

Hipster Nativity Set from Allison Baker on Vimeo.

This set can be yours for only $129.99 from Modern Nativity, but be quick. There are limited quantities!

Christmas Survival Guide

The Date: 25.06.01 BC. Location: Nazareth General Hospital…

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Date: 25.06.01 BC
Location: Nazareth General Hospital

It was the same argument.

They’ve had it for weeks.

It’s almost sweet, he’s not suggesting that she’s slept with someone else, he just doesn’t believe she’s pregnant.

It was his idea to have the scan early, he wanted to see how far she would carry this crazy story on. Why doesn’t she just say that if she doesn’t want to marry him?

But as he looked at the scan screen waiting for the answers, waiting to be proved right, Joe swallowed, and turned to his wife to be. Mary looked at his face, and knew Josephs world just blew wide open.

Jesus Scan
Larger image available from The Worship Cloud