Christian Resources That Should Exist!

The Christian Resource Exhibition is hosted this week at the ExCel in London. According to their website, its “the only place to find EVERYTHING under one roof!” And that it has “300+ stands featuring everything to equip and inspire your church from furniture to films, pulpits to puppets, ways to worship and what to wear.”

Well with that many stands, The Sofa decided to compile a list of Christian resources that should exist, and therefore would expect to see at a Christian Resource Exhibition.

  1. A guilt meter! Useful to work out who is feeling more guilty at points during Church sermons, and therefore knowing who to look at what points.
  2. A bottle of patience. (Could just be a be a particular brand of whiskey)
  3. iTithe. An app to remind you to give money away.
  4. A CD of Mark Driscoll’s greatest moments.
  5. The Prophecy Diary. A diary that updates with what you need – before you need it!
  6. iVicar – An android vicar, incase the main one gets broken.
  7. The spirit of God. (in a can that looks and smells that standard deodorant.)
  8. Church Mask – a mask to wear whilst attending church functions which make you want to run and hide.
  9. Remote Vicar Controller. A lead to attach to dog collars.
  10. Church o’Coffee – Premade Church coffee. Get your coffee right everytime!

Any other ideas? 

Look Good For Jesus!

Is Jesus your boyfriend?

Do you want to look good for him?

Well with this make up (?) set you could!

Lookin-Good-For-Jesus

… and on the back of the box..

 

Lookin-Good-For-Jesus2

Was on sale at Amazon.

Thankfully, in this case, it does appear to be satire… but I wonder if there is a “non satire Jesus Make Up Kit*” out there?

*That was a combination of words I never expected to type.

First World Christian Problems

In this day and age, being a Christian can be a difficult business. With many things to think about, and prayers that we’re not allowed to run around and offer to people, there does seem to be a number of problems that Christians come across.

To that end, may we present our list of top First World Christian Problems:

  1. My Bible runs out of battery
  2. Too many apps on my phone to find my Bible.
  3. Local Christian bookstore is on the wrong side of town.
  4. Not being allowed to eat the nice chocolate biscuits, not before Housegroup anyway.
  5. The church meal doesn’t have pizza.
  6. The person I’m front of me during the service is to talk for me to see the screen!
  7. Netflix doesn’t have enough Christian programming in your country.
  8. I have to cross a busy road to get to the Christian bookshop from the free car park.
  9. I can’t get 3G in my church!
  10. Church coffee.

Any others to add?

For actual problems check out persecution.com.

DC Talk have an announcement…

DC Talk. The American Christian Rock band from the 1990s are back!

After their split up intermission which led to the band going their separate ways, they are coming back together.

Is it a new CD? Is it a one off concert? Is it a live show streamed online?

Check out the video below to find out what it is….

Yes.
You can go on a cruise with DC Talk, with tickets (it seems) costing from $998.

The reactions on Twitter are kinda interesting:

 

What’s your reaction?

Or has “the intermission” gone on for so long that no one really cares?