10 New Christian Insults

10 New Christian InsultsOne day, a while ago, I wrote a list of Christian Insults. Time has passed since then, and I have heard new insults muttered in the dark areas of Church. Here are (possibly) 10 Christian Insults I’ve heard around the dark corners of Church.

  1. I’m guessing you’re speaking in tongues, as I cant understand a word you just said to me.
  2. I need to remember, our Lord Jesus, during his time physically on earth, used a donkey. I guess he could do the same now.
  3. With theology* like that, why did you ever graduate from Creche?
  4. I bet you use the fake stuff during communion right?
  5. We are all a gift from God. Some of us are a gift to simply test us.
  6. Is there such a thing as a Holy Slap?
  7. You just imagine Bible verses that aren’t really there don’t you?
  8. You’re so old, I bet you were around when Delirious were cool.
  9. You were baptised properly right?
  10. That sermon made me want Gods Kingdom to come quicker.
  11. You’re the type of person to eat the fruit before talking to the snake right?
  12. That was so subtle, I almost miss Mark Driscoll.

* and counting skills.

Please let me know if you use any of these at Church or even at work. If you have any other ideas please share them below

With thanks to The Beaker Folk for the inspiration to have another go at this.

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2 Comments

  1. Si

    No. 2 is the best!! 🙂

  2. Random Thoughts from a Random Girl

    Variation on #2: God spoke through a jackass, I guess He can do it again.

    Add ‘Bless your heart’ to all of them and they sound like you’re complimenting them! 😛

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