In case you missed it, it was Star Wars day earlier this week. A day when the internet celebrates all that is great about Star Wars. But as this a Church blog, I’m going to ask the serious question, what can the Church learn from Star Wars?
Please bear in mind that these are lessons from Star Wars. Any problem with the content of these lessons? Take it up with George Lucas…
- Church Member disagrees with you? Blow up their planet.
- Teach young people about faith, it may help them blow up a Death Star one day.
- Group leader not working out? Force chocking is possibly an acceptable option.
- Disagree with that Church down the road? Blow up their planet.
- There’s a time for fighting, and a time for running away and looking after yourself.
- Disagree with visiting preacher? Blow up their planet.
- Someone disagreeing with the lead pastor? Strike them down with Force lightning.
- Youth worker being a pain? Freeze him or her in carbonite.
- Don’t underestimate little hairy people.
- Funeral pyre is an underused funeral resource.
Any more to be included?
Married. Dad.
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Support worker. Short sentences. I write Bio in.
Child rebelling against dad. Cut off their hand with a laser sword
– Envy not the high church with all their gold (or gold-plated) stuff. For C3PO is gold, and look how annoying he is.
– Envy not the Baptists with their swimming pools. For strange things lurk beneath the waters…especially in the garbage smashers on the detention level.
– Envy not the trendy church with their coffee-shop. For there doth Greedo hang out waiting for Solo.
– Envy not the hymn-writers who to make a sentence fit the words do swap. For out of their pointy green ears hair doth sprout.
Forget the garbage compressor. Jar Jar Binks lived underwater.
A terrifying thought. I may never go near a baptistery again.
Or, indeed, a spellchecker.
– You may THINK the sun, moon and stars bow before him. But that’s no moon…