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What Christians say and what they really mean.

There was a slip of the tongue during a conversation the other week, where someone all but admitted that she may have once used one particular “Christian” phrase, when she meant something else.

This got us thinking, are there any other Christian phrases… which may or may not have another meaning? Here is our list of “What Christians say and what they really mean“:

I’ll go away and pray about it.
I’ll say no in 48 hours.

Is anyone sitting here?
Every other decent seat in the church is taken! Please, for the love of all that is beautiful, please do not make me sit in the front row.

Would you like to sing in the worship group?
We’re desperate, and well, you’ve volunteered for things before…

Peace of the Lord, be with you.
I feel so uncomfortable right now.

Can you serve the teas and coffees after the service?
Honestly, there’s only a slim difference between making tea for one, compared to a hundred. Honest.

May God bless us with this meal.
God, please don’t let it make me ill.

How’s your Bible reading going?
Whatever you say is a lie.

Can I interest you in a cold drink?
Please don’t ask for a tea. I really want a cold beer, but I worry I’ll appear like an alcoholic if I drink by myself.

No I don’t believe God is calling me to repent.
I’m ok with it, but thanks for asking.

Aww Bless you.
That was stupid.

Any more examples out there?

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Rev Hayley’s – Cardboard Testimony

Amazing video from Rev Hayley at Hayling Island Baptist Church, for the story behind was covered by The Huffington Post:

A British pastor took the brave step of telling her congregation that she was HIV-positive — and got what she called a “humbling” response from her loving flock.

Rev. Hayley Young, a 28-year-old minister at Hayling Island Baptist Church, told HuffPost she contracted HIV during an attack. It was a shock for her, but she believed that God would give her the strength to deal with it. When her body started showing side-effects from the drugs she was using, her members started asking questions. She said it would have been too “emotional” to tell her church members face to face, so she decided to do it on YouTube.

“I decided to tell the church that I was HIV positive because I tell people every day to be proud of who they are and that God loves them just the way they are – so I had to practise what I preached,” Young told HuffPost in an email.

Read the rest over at The Huffington Post.

For a bit more information, try reading up this piece about misconceptions people have about HIV.

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8 Signs You Go To Church In Devon

Here in Devon, there is an annual show called The Devon County Show. This is a celebration of all that is great about Devon, and the people who live here.

To join in with fun, here are 7 signs that you go to a Church in Devon.

You understand the relationship between Hay bales and seating.

HayBale

You go to Church in The Big City.

WelcomeToExeter

You’ve attended AMAZING Youth Group Events at Crealy Park!

crealy-park-big

Someone in Church is a farmer.

Devon-Farmer

Someone you know has been baptised in the sea.

ExmouthDuringApril-Web
It doesn’t always look this nice

You know someone, who knows someone, who has been involved with the Churches Together Tent at The Devon County Show.

Really-Big-Cross
Yes, It has a really big cross.

The Church car park looks something like this.

Car-Park

Your Church has hosted a Barn Dance

 

Any other tell tale signs?