Dangers Parents Face When Bringing A Child To Church

Congratulations. You have managed to make it to Church.

Actually hang on, you’ve managed to get to Church and not forget any family members on route. Massive Congratulations on not losing anyone.

Now, if your group includes a child, you need to remember – there are certain dangers you need to look out for when you take a child to Church.

  1. Being late, and having to contend with a church warden / steward “encouraging” you and your wiggly toddler to the front of the Church… whilst there are safer seats (and space to run at the back).
  2. Vicar: “Now lets take a moment of silent prayer”. Little One: “I NEED A POO!!!”.
  3. Formally breast fed toddlers getting jealous of the sight of a really little one getting breast fed… and running over to get a quick meal.
  4. The kid getting confused between a potty and the baptismal font.
  5. Is it your turn on the preaching rota? This will be the Sunday when your kid demands to play trains…with you… during the sermon.
  6. Has your toddler ever took their nappy off by themselves? THIS could be when they work it out!
  7. Toddler. Tantrums. Could be anytime?
  8. Your child refuses to be in their group (koala effect), but is too unsettled to be quiet enough for you to take them into the main service, hence you are stuck in the corridor limbo.

Any more you’ve come across?

Post originally appeared on The Dads Sofa.