With the start of Lent around the corner, we felt best to wonder what we should give up for lent. Having decided to give up the gym, we realised that all truly Godly people give up multiple things, so we decided to write a list of things that true Christians should give up for lent.
- Chocolate.
- Beer.
- Wine.
- Swearing.
- Cyder
- Biscuits
- Vodka
- Guitar Playing.
- Crisps
- Leavened Bread
- Sex
- Going to the Gym.
- Drugs
- Mid Air Drumming.
- Rock
- Roll
- Your Hobby.
- Watching Non Christian Movies at The Cinema.
- Pizza
- Pasta
- Chinese Food
- Junk Food
- Non Christian Music
- Non Organic Food.
- Non Christian TV.
- Gossiping. AKA Prayer Small Groups.
- Internet Access
- TV
- Wasting time reading silly lists online.
- Going to the Gym.
- Going to non independent food stores.
- Doing any act that isn’t in the Bible.
- Playing computer games from 2001 onwards.
- Electricity from non renewable sources.
- Processed food.
- Easter Eggs.
- Driving any motor vehicle. (An electric car / bike is only allowed if you charge from renewable sources)
- All shoes, except for sandals.
- Your wages.
- Listening to non Christian radio.
- Talking to anyone who may lead you at all astray.
- Dont even think about eating anything like Pancakes during lent. Thats cheating.
- Asthma Attacks.
- Going to that Chip Shop on the corner, between work, and the train station.
- Buy lego figures.
- Looking for spelling / grammer issues in The Church Sofa.
- Eating non natural / organic foods.
- Caring that one of the above is mentioned twice.
- Watching Call The Midwife.
- Trying to find things to give up.
- Reading ridiculous lists that don’t live up to their promise.
Obviously if you manage to give up all the above, you are indeed a Godly person, and possibly living in a cave somewhere.
Well done.
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I never wear anything but sandals, so that one is easy. Any advice on how to give up asthma attacks? I would love to.