Picture the situation. You’ve been given a piece of paper containing the address of a website thats been recommended to you, you sit down at the computer, you type it into your web browser, and theres something wrong with the address you’ve typed in. If something like this happened you may well see something like “Error 404, Page Not Found” come up on your screen.
Well, there are other Error Numbers but what if they applied to The C of E Church, and not web pages?
Kneewax has asked exactly this question, and compiled a list of “status codes” if they related to the C of E Church:
400 Bad Request
No. You cannot ask God to smite Mrs Miggins.
Similar to 403 Forbidden, but specifically for use when authentication is required and has failed or has not yet been provided. The Archdeacon has not got back to you and you can’t be licensed.
402 Payment Required
Reserved for future use.
The collection has been a bit short recently. No one can leave the service until they’ve given some (gift-aided) donations
The Wardens have taken your Church keys away. Unlike a 401 Unauthorized response, authenticating will make no difference.
404 Not Found
The requested resource could not be found but may be available again in the future. The vicar is unavailable. It is not possible to leave a message on their voice-mail.
405 Method Not Allowed
That is not how we celebrate the Communion in this tradition.
406 Not Acceptable
This parish has passed resolution A&B (please provide proof of Y Chromosome before continuing).
407 Proxy Authentication Required
The parish is under the authority of the Bishop of Ebbsfleet.
408 Request Timeout
The server didn’t turn up to help with communion
You shouldn’t have tried to remove the pews
You succeeded in removing the pews
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Support worker. Short sentences. I write Bio in.