Sometimes. Every now and then. You may find yourself in a boring sermon like what Bart finds himself trapped in:
So how can you cope during such a situation?
Try our list of 10 Ways To Occupy Yourself During A Boring Sermon:
- See if you can tie your neighbours shoe laces to their chair or pew whilst pretending to be deep in contemplative prayer.
- Search the weekly update sheet for mistypes to point out to the vicar later.
- For the more charismatic types, lay down. Sleep. See how long it takes to be awoken by the sound of people praying over you.
- Cough every time the preacher says the word God/Jesus and see if anyone catches on.
- Repeatedly try to catch the preachers eye and wink at them.
- Tweet a message to The Church Sofa. ( @thechurchsofa )
- Attempt to get your row to do a mexican wave.
- Hum the mission impossible theme tune and see if you can get out with out anyone seeing.
- Every time the preacher asks a rhetorical question, answer it out loud.
- Pull faces at the preacher and see how long it is before they laugh.
Anything we’ve missed?
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Become a preacher – then you’re responsible for the interestingness or otherwise of the sermon…
I heard the idea that you should line up £10 in pound coins in full view of the preacher, then when the sermon goes on longer than 10 minutes, remove a coin for each minute the sermon overruns. Only the coins still left at the end go in the offertory plate! I wish I could remember where I read this…
LoL!
In our church the preacher would end up owing me money if I did that…
In one recent service the only thing which was keeping me sane were the small kids using streamers as skipping ropes. I immediately thought of the Malcolm McLaren “double dutch” and thought if I ever got to take another service i might incorporate into the worship. As I had my iPhone on silent I looked it up on You Tube, and its started playing, but it was only the ringer which as off! OOPS.
My current favourite is a variation of the shoe lace theme, but I tend to lean forward and tie those long cardigan wings to the chair. I find it great fun, but not all the women appreciate it.