I have to admit, I had forgotten all about (the american) Dennis The Menace.
For some people, being a Church Pastor isn’t a job, it’s a calling on your life. It’s a calling that can take up a lot of your time, and place strains on different areas of your life, as you seek to work out what your priorities are. There are no other times like Christmas which are as busy for some pastors.
I’m not going to tell Church Pastors how to manage their time during Christmas, but here are a list of ways I’ve been told that pastors can be truly efficient in how they serve the Lord, their congregation, and have time to celebrate Christmas. Everywhere and with everyone.
1. Get to Church. Ensure there is plenty of alcoholic mulled wine being shared at the start of the service. No one will notice the duplicate sermon you’re preaching from the last service.
2. Don’t want to be that cheeky? Repeat a sermon from last year. If anyone notices give them a chocolate coin as a prize.
3. If choosing christmas carols, always choose the same ones. Everyone would probably love it anyway.
4. Need to read a Bible passage? Stick on the audio recording of David Suchet reading, and have a sit down.
5. Mince Pies = Fuel
6. Ensure you are not well known for returning voice mails.
7. Got an invitation to lead a carol service at the local school? Save time by asking your youth worker to do it. After all the youth worker needs the experience.
8. Somehow program Amazon Echo to cover your speaking engagements for you.
9. Develop odd and awkward dietary requirements. No one will invite you to that 23rd Christmas meal
10. Record yourself on video giving some generic Christmas greetings, then upload said video to your church website. Print out cards that contain just the weblink, give out the said cards to save the time you would spend wishing people a Happy Christmas in person.
If all else fails, buy this guy from Amazon to do some work for you:
Just don’t blow him up in front of other people…
Anything you would add?
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