Tag Archives: Jesus Christ

“Jesus Christ” wants to become the next MP for Burnley

According to this little article in The Metro, “Jesus Christ” is about to make a move into politics…

If you’ve been quietly waiting for the Second Coming, you’re late to the party.

Jesus Christ has been living fairly anonymously in Burnley.

He was reluctant to reveal his true identity, the former bus driver says, but soon realised his ability to cure the sick made him the Messiah.

Formerly known as John Edward Birtwhistle, 77-year-old Mr Christ changed his name by deed poll in 1996 after people started calling him Jesus.

Now that he has accepted his role as the Son of God, he plans to stand to be Burnley’s next MP.

Read More over at The Metro.

Parliament could be an interesting place in 2020

The Passion Of The Christ 2: Possible Plotlines?

In case you missed it, a follow up to the Christian Gorefest The Passion Of The Christ is being planned. According to Den of Geek:

A huge hit on its original release in 2004, Mel Gibson’s bloody, violent The Passion Of The Christ remains the most successful independent movie of all time. It brought in over $600m in worldwide ticket sales, costing just $30m to make.

Gibson’s new film as director, Hacksaw Ridge, has begun screening, and once it’s released, it might just be that he turns his attention to a The Passion Of The Christ sequel.

Screenwriter Randall Wallace has revealed that he’s working on a screenplay for a new film, which this time would follow the story of the resurrection of Jesus. And whilst Gibson hasn’t confirmed the story, Wallace has, and the pair are said to be working together on the new project.

While it seems the The Passion Of The Christ sequel may focus on what happened after the resurrection, we wondered how this may be presented on screen, in a manner that the fans of the original movie may appreciate.

Here are a couple of potential plotlines / titles we’ve written for The Passion Of The Christ 2:

  1. The Passion Of The Christ: Peters Tale. A movie telling the last moments of Jesus’s life from Peters point of view, finishing with the restoration of Peter. Therefore leading to the audiance getting the expected 60 minutes of horror gore, but this time around, Passion 2 includes Peters hopeful quest for restoration.
  2. The Passion Of The Christ: Personal Passion. During the days after his resurrection, Jesus is tempted by Satan into taking revenge on the ones responsible for his death. Will he bring heavenly revenge on people, or will he show a level of forgiveness that has never been seen before?
  3. The Passion Of The Christ: Before The Resurrection. As Jesus prepares to take on death, in a battle for all humanity. He realises that he first must meet Judas one last time.
  4. The Passion Of The Christ: Passion Falls. Earths story has finished. The end of time is here. Jesus had returned. As he looks over creation he remembers the last time he was here.
  5. The Passion Of The Christ: A New Testament. The Resurrection has gone wrong. Jesus finds himself resurrected in 21st Century America. Coincidentally at the same time that Judas has somehow found himself resurrected. Leading to a buddy movie like no other, as Jesus and Judas travel around the world, on a quest to unite mankind with God.

What would you like to see in the new movie?

 

Jesus In An Ear?

He’s appeared in a toilet, some toast, a receipt ,a Nintendo, a spot of grease, and even pizza*!… and now Jesus has appeared in an ear. Actually Jesus has appeared in an ear belonging to a wet dog*:

jesusdog

 

The Express website reports on this wet dog:

Rachel Evans, 25, was bathing her mini Yorkshire terrier Dave in the bathroom sink when she took some cute photos.

But it wasn’t until she showed them to her partner James Williams, 28, that she spotted the face of Jesus in the pet’s soggy ear.

The DVLA worker from Swansea, south Wales, said: “I was a bit freaked out to be honest.

“I am a bit superstitious and it’s quite spooky.

“At first I didn’t see anything at all. We were just giving them a bath in the sink and taking silly photos and selfies because they looked cute.

“About an hour later I showed my partner and he said ‘can you see that face?’ “We looked a but closer and realised it looked like Jesus. It’s a bit strange.”

Read further at express.co.uk

Have you found Jesus in a dogs ear recently?

*possibly

Jesus spotted on a fence

Jesus in a fence

He’s appeared in a toilet, toast, a receipt ,a Nintendo, a spot of grease, and even pizza*!… and now…

Jesus has now appeared in a fence.

According to ldnews.com:

“It’s God letting us know his presence is here in York,” said McFadden, 53, a Catholic and a Mason. “I hope people come down and see it and visit it and come away with the same feeling.”

Not everybody sees it. Kelly Caron has seen people stopping and taking photos of the vine while she walks dogs for Morgan’s Paws Pet Day Care Center on Hill Street. She’s not sure she gets it.

“Looks like a vine to me,” she said.

Read the thing over at ldnews.com.

*possibly

New Jesus Christ Musical using Britney Spears songs

New Jesus Christ Musical using Britney Spears songs

Ever thought what it would be like if during the birth of Christ, Mary, Joseph and everyone else sang that hit Britney Spears song “Hit Me Baby One More Time“?

How about if when Jesus left the tomb he was singing “now I’m Stronger than yesterday“?

Well you might have the answer to your wonderings, with “SPEARS the Musical: The Gospel According to Britney”, which is indeed a Jesus Christ Musical using Britney Spears songs… and it seems only Britney Spears songs.

According to Digital Spy:

SPEARS the Musical: The Gospel According to Britney will feature several of Spears’s songs, including ‘(You Drive Me) Crazy’, ‘…Baby One More Time’ and ‘Stronger’, used to describe the birth, life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

No lyrics have been changed and no words are spoken, technically making the show an opera.

The musical’s official website shares some images from previous shows, with the creative team sharing input on the production.

Creator Pat Blute says of the musical: “These are Britney’s lyrics. These are Jesus Christ’s images. The Britney Spears you see is not Britney Spears. Remember that. The Jesus Christ you read is not Jesus Christ. These are manifestations. Accounts through the media, through the words of followers, of friends, of foes, of villains, of heroes, of liars, of biases.

“It’s a falsehood that people believe fame and fortune create happiness. That all ‘deaths’ receive a resurrection. I hope this project will show you otherwise through the power of listening and the power of forgiveness.”

Read more at digitalspy.co.uk but be warned, you may find Britney Spears videos, news, and things there.

Can you think of any other weird and wonderful ideas for a Jesus Musical?