They say that “cleanliness is next to godliness”, I’m not sure “they” are, and I’m not sure if “they” are right. But one time, while cleaning up for Housegroup, I did wonder. Are there “Christian ways to keep a house clean”? (Its the way my mind seems to work)
After consulting some particularly godly people, I gathered the following tops to keep a tidy Christian house.
Invite housegroup to meet at your place… EVERY WEEK!!
Preach on servanthood at Church. Encourage people to put that into action by cleaning up your place.
Do not store up ANY treasures. Live a minimal life. Throw out EVERYTHING apart from your bible.
Dont drink things like Tea that needs things like Tea Bags, as that creates needless waste… drink red wine… just like Jesus.
Dont buy any Christian books. Convince your church to get it for the church book lending library, and borrow it from there instead.
Only have one Bible. (Possibly the King James Version)
Throw out your DVDs / Blurays… Sign up to Pureflix.com instead.
Avoid beer bottles being built up. Drink only red wine. (Better if you buy red wine in those big boxes)
You pray for the spirit of peace to come over your house everyday. Just hope that no one looks in the garden.
Treat your house like Holy Ground… TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES!!!
You’re either at church, homegroup, or some other christian gathering, and you’re being prayed for. You may be surrounded by a group of people, or you may be in a corner of a room, either way you are the focus of the spiritual attention. Whatever you do. Don’t think about the following when you’re being prayed for:
How attractive that woman / man praying for you might be – and why are they holding your hand anyway?
Has the oven timer started ok? You dont want the dinner to be burnt / cold.
Why is that persons hand so warm and clammy?
Why does that person push down on your shoulder so hard?
Rating peoples prayers out of 10. Don’t do this. Its not cool.
Who’s that smell?
“What on earth did they mean by that?”
Mentally correct their grammar in your head.
Whats the most prayerful way to be standing? Are you in the most holy position? Does God smile more with my arms up or my arms down?
The feeling of regret that comes with having that hot curry 45 minutes before the meeting began.
Imagine the situation: You’re hosting your church home group, and the person leading the Bible study doesn’t turn up. What do you do? You could ditch the bible study, have a quick chat and get on with your lives? (But no one ever seems to want to do that)
Or you could lead a bible study anyway? But what is your bible study going to be about? To help get you started here are our Emergency Housegroup Leaders Kit Of Ideas!
You’re going to need an energy kick to get through this. All the cool kids seem to drink Monster…
Bibles. Have lots and lots of Bibles! Hand them out. Get people to read a verse or twenty at random. Ask people what they think about said random verses.
Welcome to September! All around the country, Churches have homegroups starting up for a new term. All ready for a new Bible study series. But how can homegroup leaders make the bible studies more interesting?
Here are 10 challenges for Homegroup leaders in your church.
Spend the entire evening speaking in a bad Russian accent.
Serve mug loads of espresso, accidentally make people think it’s decaf.
(If you’re hosting) Don’t tidy up before housegroup. Act like everyone is making a huge mess of your lovely place.
This requires some planning in advance, but ensure any and all toys are arranged ready for a bible study.
When planning, crowdsource questions for your bible study.
Plan the bible study while using the The Message version of the Bible.
Illustrate every question with a Simpsons video clip.
Doing a session on Baptism? Throw water balloons at each other.
Leading a session on Hebrews chapter 4? Lead the Bible Study naked.
Lead a session on “Waiting on God”. Encourage everyone to lay down on the floor / relax on the sofa, while you play a relaxing CD. DO NOTHING ELSE IN THE EVENING!
As the more eagle eyed Sofa readers may have spotted, 2014 featured the Sofa family moving from Church Sofa towers to The Sofa Castle. (Mrs Sofa has asked me to clarify this means moving from a smallish flat to a house). One thing we decided we wanted to do once we were settled was to host our homegroup. We’ve been warned we need the following in order to host our church homegroup.
Coffee. Lots of Coffee.
The exact amount depends on who’s leading.
Just in case someone asks for it. But remember, there are dangers involved with drinking decaf…
Lots of Bibles.
And Maybe A Really Big Bible…
Possibly A Historic Scroll.
As a special treat for ‘that’ person who can read Hebrew, and Greek…
Because Bible Studies can be fun. Right?
Massive Multi Media Set Up
You can really take in Bible maps if they’re on a really big screen… and if nothing else, you’ll probably need to watch a video clip at somepoint.
Because someone normally secretly wishes they could be relaxing with a beer.
If you have all of this. I’m sure you’re ready to host a Bible Study.
We’re now well into Autumn, and many churches have started their program for the new term. Many housegroups have started back, and there maybe some changes, you may be going to a new housegroup… which might be great… but sometimes… it might need to be livened up.
Here’s some thing for you. Here is the Church Sofa list of ten ways to liven up your housegroup:
Discuss the idea of wives submitting to husbands. With a male : female ratio of 2:7.
For a guy to quote Mark Driscoll in the above conversation.
Bring an active baby, with a healthy set of lungs.
Everyone go to housegroup in a dog collar.
Does your housegroup have a couple of sci-fi fans? Go along in a Dalek costume.
Bring along an argumentative atheist who likes arguing, hate Christians, and hates being around other people…
Make a bet with yourself, and see if you can guess how many times “that person”, turns a topic back to themselves, and their own stories. (feel free to provide prompts for that person)
During the prayer time, try playing catch with someone sat on the other side of the room.
Are you a football fan? Is your housegroup leader a football fan? Both missing that match? Come up with a secret system of telling him the football scores mid meeting. (This well depend on you flipping between the sport app, and the Bible on your phone).
Dramatic reconstruction of bible readings… Be careful it doesn’t include anything like circumcision…
This CartoonChurch.com cartoon by Dave Walker originally appeared in the Church Times.
I was going to comment about housegroups / home groups / cell groups / what ever… I was going to talk about how meeting half way through the week to study the Bible can seem like a weird and odd thing to do. I was then going to say something about loving being able to share in the brutal craziness of life in light of Gods Grace.
But my throat is doing some weird aching thing, and I’m missing not being at housegroup.