Imagine you’re sat there in Church, and you’re wondering “Wouldn’t it be funny if a particular situation happened”. Obviously you dont do anything about it, because isn’t it a bit naughty to make trouble in Church? What if there was a biblical basis for the trouble you are creating? If you are in a trouble making mood then check out our following list:
- Swap your church bibles for something a bit more Greek.
- Non alcoholic communion wine? Swap it for something with a bit more kick!*
- Bring take out to every communion service… if anyone complains point out that Jesus had communion after a meal.
- Someone being baptized? Throw them into a river.**
- Encourage everyone looking for a job / training to go into carpentry.
- Having a bring and share meal at Church? Bring some locusts…
- Ask the preacher to tell you a story.
- Are you preaching? Arrive to church dressed in Whale vomit, see what happens.
- Before any church meals, demand the minister washes everyones feet.
- Organising the next church lunch? Arrange for everyone to only bring milk, or honey.
*You may want to make sure no one has issues with alcohol in your church first.
** Offer life jackets if they can’t swim.
Obviously the sofa takes no responsibility for anything you do as a result of reading this. Ever.
Any one got other ideas?
We all feel a little mischievous sometimes… Have you ever sat in Church and just wanted a giggle? Well here’s our list of 10 Ways to Create Trouble in Church, to help you feel inspired next time you’re in Church.*
- Someone coughing next to you? Be nice. Offer them a bottle of water. Don’t tell them it’s sparkling water. Also, don’t tell them you’ve recently dropped it.
- Renumber the service card.
- Cough. Splutter. Mutter about the Plague. (Careful of doing this in a Healing Service, you may get prayed for / anointed with oil etc)
- Put duckies in the Baptism pool.
- During the sermon, project a timer counting down from 20 mins onto the back wall. Watch the preacher get more and more nervous as his time starts to run out.
- Preacher likely to go on for to long? Arrange for the entire back row to “fall asleep” at the same time.
- Let the local gang of toddlers play with the above mentioned duckies… During the service.
- Do you have one of those baptism pools which are covered up during none baptism services? Try hiding a phone in there. Ring the phone half way through the prayers, enjoy watching the ensuring confusion.
- Sit behind someone who is scared of mice / rats / anything that crawls. Set a wind up mouse going under their pew.
- Fart bombs. Rigged up to a timer, and placed behind the pulpit…
*No one on the Church Sofa takes any responsibility for anything that happens to anyone if any of the above is done or not done.