A Church Lunch – How To Survive It When You Are Gluten Free

Picture the scene. You’re at a Church Lunch, or one of many other buffet style lunches that happen, and you spot how it appears to be a bit like Subway. As in loads of meat, and loads of bread rolls. And it all looks amazing.

Imagine you’re gluten free… which means you cant eat wheat based products. So no bread, pizza, or beer for you.

Well, how do you do deal with this?

May we present a handy flow chart guide showing how to survive a Church lunch, when you’re gluten free.

 

Do you have any tips to share?

10 Things Not To Do During A Communion Service

Have you ever wondered what people who aren’t used to Church services, think about Church services? Have you ever wondered if its clear what you should be doing in a church communion service? Have you ever wondered what you probably should not do during communion?*

Here’s our list…

  1. Sneeze in to the hair of the person in front of you.
  2. Loudly discuss if the common cold is contagious.
  3. Loudly discuss the vintage of the wine, just after you’ve had a sip.
  4. Start a debate about the various names for the communion service.
  5. Give everyone a special Holy Kiss during the peace.
  6. Jesus took communion as part of a meal. Time for a food fight?
  7. Ask your neighbour if they’ve had their flu shots recently.
  8. If you happen to take two bits of bread… anything you can make a sandwich with?
  9. Loudly question the choice of wine, and ask for cider instead. The colder the better
  10. You know the napkin that is passed around with The Communion Cup? Use that to blow your nose.

Any other suggestions?

*The Church Sofa doesn’t accept any responsibilities for any action that results from the above. If you get involved in a food fight, please don’t blame us!

More Ways to Show Love and Acceptance.

So, lets face it. 2016 is an interesting year. With arguably negative political campaigns held on either side of the Atlantic, leading to negativity spilling out of the newspapers and impacting people in a real way. It feels like the world is leaving 2016 in a far more negative place then when it entered it.

I’m not going to write a full discourse looking at why this may be the case, instead I’m going to look at a few ideas of what could be done to improve matters. (There’s no way of phrasing the next sentence without being cheesy) How can we spread more love in 2016?

Read The Gruffalo…

Kids books are awesome, and the world needs more awesome. Try The Gruffalo for a flavour of awesome. Actually try anything from Julia Donaldson.

Volunteer For A Local Charity / Organization.

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Because volunteers are awesome, and there’s probably something out there you’d like doing. (I personally know of opportunities to cook, and build lego.*) If nothing else, doing something good might help to improve your CV.

Write A Love Letter To A Stranger.

Like these guys…

 

Abundance redefined. ?? #LL2S

A photo posted by Love Letters 2 Strangers (@loveletters2strangers) on

Cook Your Neighbour A Meal.

Because who doesn’t love free food?

(Doesn’t have to look this nice)

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Offer Free Hugs

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Like EVERYTHING

 

Step 1. Order loads of these stickers from Amazon.facebook-like-sticker

Step 2. PUT THEM EVERYWHERE!!!!

 

Any other suggestions you’d like to share?

*These are two separate volunteer positions, at different places. There isn’t a magical place where you cook AND play with lego…. I dont think.

 

Tips for a Successful Christian Road Trip

Planning a road trip sometime with some Christian Friends? Wondering about how to behave during your Christian Road Trip?

Hopefully the following tips could help.

  1. Cheesy Christian tunes are a must for a soundtrack. At least have Classic Tribe blasting from your car as you drive.
  2. Need a snack? Pop by the fruit stall to get some fruits of the Holy Spirit.
  3. Bless anyone who cuts you up.
  4. Stopping in at McDonalds? Make sure you pray over your food.
  5. Need somewhere to stay the night? Knock on a churches door, and ask to borrow their floor for the night.
  6. Driving and feeling tired? Dont pull over for a rest, ask God for his angels to carry the car whilst you sleep*.
  7. Looking for entertainment? Look for the nearest playground.
  8. Cheesy Christian tune not working out? Listen to REM:  “Losing my Religion”.

Any more suggestions?

*Dont do this. Dont do this. Dont do this. Dont do this.