How To Stay Cool in Church

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but its hot. Well its hot in Devon anyway.

I imagine its also hot elsewhere.

Its also hot in Churches around England.

So how do you deal with Church, when you turn up and its massively hot?

Here are our ten ideas of how to stay cool in church when its massively hot. 

  1. Open the flipping windows!
  2. Have a mass baptism service. Just get everyone into the baptism pool. If nothing else it will cool everyone down.
  3. Give Pizza Hut a call, get a ice cream delivery, yes – to be delivered during the service.
  4. Relocate the church service to the nearest mountain top / river bed / supermarket freezer cabinets.
  5. Give out emergency water bottles.
  6. Install cold showers at the back of the church.
  7. Decrease the chance of any one fainting during the service and just edit EVERYTHING down!
  8. Giant air fans. Everywhere!
  9. Swap out bread and wine for ice cream.
  10. Naked church.

Any other ideas?

Life Explored. A Question.

For those who have done, or know about the Life Explored Course, I have a question.  I don’t mean to be sarcastic, sardonic, or cheeky, (All things I’ve been called, and possibly with good reason), but I have an actual real question.

What is this about?

Maybe I totally under planned the session I led, but I don’t get it… Our housegroup wondered if it was meant to be something about Adam and Eve, but we couldn’t quite work out how.

(If you’ve not heard of Life Explored, I’ve been told its a  bit like Christianity Explored, but I’m not sure in what way.)

Things NOT to think about when being prayed for.

Things NOT to think about when being prayed for.

So you’re there.

You’re either at church, homegroup, or some other christian gathering, and you’re being prayed for. You may be surrounded by a group of people, or you may be in a corner of a room, either way you are the focus of the spiritual attention. Whatever you do. Don’t think about the following when you’re being prayed for:

  1. How attractive that woman / man praying for you might be – and why are they holding your hand anyway?
  2. Has the oven timer started ok? You dont want the dinner to be burnt / cold.
  3. Why is that persons hand so warm and clammy?
  4. Why does that person push down on your shoulder so hard?
  5. Rating peoples prayers out of 10. Don’t do this. Its not cool.
  6. Who’s that smell?
  7. “What on earth did they mean by that?”
  8. Mentally correct their grammar in your head.
  9. Whats the most prayerful way to be standing? Are you in the most holy position? Does God smile more with my arms up or my arms down?
  10. The feeling of regret that comes with having that hot curry 45 minutes before the meeting began.

Any more that you can suggest?