Tag Archives: Church

10 Ways Kids Survive A Boring Sermon

How-Kids-Survive A-Boring-Sermon-In-Church

In the past, Sofa has spent many a post (and tweet) pondering how to survive a boring sermon. While all that has been great for the older people in the church, to quote a panicked soul, “Wont somebody think of the children?”

After 5 years of watching, and learning from both Mini Sofa, and other kids around, we’ve collected the following list of how kids can survive a boring sermon:

If you have a bored child, perhaps they’ll find inspiration from the following ideas:

  1. Crawl under the seats, and between the legs of the people sitting in them, until you reach the back and freedom! Just run faster then your grown up!
  2. In a push chair? Chop the bottom out and drive it around Flintstones style! Dont have a push chair? Just pretend the seat you’re on is a car instead!
  3. Does your church have pews? Bring a car in… those little ledges behind each pew makes a great race track. Ensure there are sounds effects.
  4. Be so hungry you could eat a bible… (You’re never to young to digest the word of God right?)
  5. When no one is looking… Check if the fire extinguisher really works! (Based on true story)
  6. Wave at other little people sat in other parts of the hall. Wait till any silent moments before your shout “HELLO”.
  7. Make faces at the preacher during the service. They’ll love it
  8. Is your parent leading the service? Make sure they don’t misbehave by going up front and keeping them company.
  9. Is your parent the hugging, needy type? Demand a hug. When they pick you up… scream that you want to be put down.
  10. You and a friend, see who can run around the Church hall the fastest! See what happens…

Any we’ve missed?

10 Ways That Christian Kids Delay Bed Time

Long time readers of The Sofa will know of my daughter, “Little Sofa”. I don’t mention her often as this place is often about silly church things… not little person things.

Now, if you don’t have kids yourself, they seem to hate the concept of going to relax in a bed and gently going to sleep for the night. (It’s like they believe that they’ll miss out on all the fun if they sleep.)

Normally kids employ tactics to stay up like, running, dancing, needing a wee, and going to the toilet.

Lately I’ve noticed that Little Sofa occasionally tries a different technique to avoid going to sleep… She starts talking about church things… and well I guess we’re never sure how much we should tell her to go to sleep if she’s asking questions about Jesus?

Anyway here’s a collection of Christian style techniques she has employed to stay awake. (Some of which I may have made up):

  1. Opens up and explains what they did at Sunday school / holiday club.
  2. Asks questions about diversity within the human race, and why we’re created differently.
  3. Asks about the people out in the lions den.
  4. “Did Jesus go to school?”
  5. Test parents about deep theological matters.
  6. Starts writing practice. Writing Bible verses.
  7. Insists on a really long prayer.
  8. Sings a long forgotten song from Holiday Club, really nicely, with cute dialed up to 12.
  9. “How does God know our name?”
  10. Complains about a dream during which they are chased by a really big blue book.

Any more you can offer?

What happened to cell churches?

Searching For Church

Thisandy and his family are currently looking for a new church to call home. We loved our old church but it wasnt the right place for us and we felt God leading us to somewhere new.

So like Abraham we set off into the desert (Exeter) with no clue of where we were headed. It turns out you can spend a long time looking for a church to join. Whether its a key theology you do or don’t believe in or a practical issue like they dont have children’s groups for under 5’s and you’re both likely to be involved on a sunday morning (admittedly only an issue you have an under 5).

What I’ve noticed in Exeter is a lack of Cell Churches, where the core part of the church is local small groups that have a genuine outreach and impact on their local community and all the cell groups might meet together once a month, but your core place of meeting is your cell group yet you affiliate to the larger body.

Back in the early 2000’s it seemed you couldn’t go anywhere without meeting some who was either in or loved Cell Churches.

If you’re a cell church still thriving please comment….we love you and miss you.

What do you all think of cell churches?

What would you look for in one?