Need A Christian Excuse?

We’ve all been there. You’re there, minding your own business, and then. Someone asks you to do something, or go somewhere… This could be be anything from going to the pub at the wrong time to leading the Friday night youth outing to the local old peoples home. For whatever reason you just want an excuse to say no.

Maybe, you’re not good at saying no – in which case this is for you.

Perhaps you want something particularly Christian to say, in an attempt to make the church volunteer coordinator leave you with a smile on their face.

Get this page book marked, and so next time you’re searching for an excuse for something, you can try out The Church Sofa Christian Excuse Generator:

(Click to spin!)

Any that you would add?

Married. Dad.

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Support worker. Short sentences. I write Bio in.

What Do Christians Do When Bored

Being A Bored Christian

Sometimes. When inspiration leaves us. Boredom strikes.  Yes, just like everyone else. Christians get bored. And not just during sermons.

Possibly during a period of illness, its not unusual to feel bored at times. At one point, (not when bored), Sofa did some research into what happens when Christians are bored.

Here is the Church Sofa list of 10 Things Christians Do When Bored*.

  1. Read all the bible plans on YouVersion.
  2. Build forts with leftover paper Bible studies.
  3. Artistically write Bible verses on sheets of paper.
  4. Email all the missionaries, (and any other random people associated with their church), to encourage and ask for prayer requests.
  5. Redecorate the local church office.
  6. Ponder / pray / day dream about what vulnerable people you could volunteer to work with… Never get round to asking for information from the right places.
  7. Turn on God TV*
  8. Download ALL THE SERMONS, from your church website. Email the preachers your personal critique.
  9. Actually sit down and write some new material for their Church blog.
  10. Turn off God TV*.

Have you got any to add?

*With apologies to God TV.

Married. Dad.

Blogger / WordPress / Email List Guy.

Photographer.

Support worker. Short sentences. I write Bio in.

America! You Have a New Social Network Incoming…

America! It looks like you have a new social network incoming called USA.Life.

(I realise that a social network online is generally to be used by people on the internet, but theres something about this that feels a little American focused).

Perhaps its the Pro-America algorithm?

USA.Life Social Network

Or maybe its something about the banner on its website…

Check out the USA.Life website for more information (, and a video that seems to have disabled embedding).

Are you tempted to sign up to USA.Life?

(h/t to Christian Nightmares)

 

Married. Dad.

Blogger / WordPress / Email List Guy.

Photographer.

Support worker. Short sentences. I write Bio in.

A Good Day to Wear This?

Welcome to one of the special days of the year.

No not Christmas.

Not Easter.

But May 4th (as in “be with you”).

So bearing in mind, every Star Wars fan is occasionally a little bit Jedi, is May 4th, a good day to be wearing something like this?

Available from Amazon.co.uk. (Affiliate link)

I’m thinking about rewatching Rogue One.

How about you?

Married. Dad.

Blogger / WordPress / Email List Guy.

Photographer.

Support worker. Short sentences. I write Bio in.

Do You Want To DANCE WITH JESUS???

Is dancing not your thing?

Do you have two left feet?

If you have the option to dance, are you more likely to be found at the back of the hall watching everyone else?

Do you need Jesus in your DANCING LIFE?

Apparently the Dances include: the Water Walk, the Temptation Tango, the Judas Hustle, and The Apostolic Conga.

Find it over at Amazon.

(Affiliate link)

Married. Dad.

Blogger / WordPress / Email List Guy.

Photographer.

Support worker. Short sentences. I write Bio in.

Christian VR apps That HAVE to be made

A while back, I got my hands on a free pair of Google cardboard VR glasses. While a bit clunky, they are still a fab way to transform your smartphone into a Virtual Reality headset.

A bit clunky, but quite a cheap way of bringing some sort of Virtual Reality experience into the home.

Trying it out, got me thinking. If there were a series of Christian VR apps, what would that look like?

Here’s the Christian Virtual Reality that Sofa would like to see…

The stable. Experience the birth of Jesus in full immersive VR. Hear Mary’s birthing pains, see the confusion on the cattles faces, and watch Joseph faint.
A Mega Church App. Don’t go to a Mega Church. Stay at home, and feel the atmosphere without smelling other peoples sweat.
The Church Volunteer. Get an insight into volunteering at church without any need for preemptive commitment.
The Longest Prayer. We know that Jonah was swallowed by a big fish. But what did he see in the big fish? What did he do? Hear Jonahs cry to the Lord, as you see the inside of the fish from Jonahs point of view.
Full on March. Now you can also march around the city of Jericho.
Full immersive adult baptism game. Hit the button as you go underwater… to ensure you come back up again.
Missed Lunch. Get an in depth view of Daniel and The Lions Den. From the lions prospective.
The Church Volunteer Coordinator. Feel the panic, and have first hand perspective of what happens when all the volunteers stay at home, and try to volunteer via VR glasses.
Crucifixion. The Viewers Experience. Put on your VR glasses and be transported to the original Good Friday! Enjoy!

Have you got any further ideas?

Married. Dad.

Blogger / WordPress / Email List Guy.

Photographer.

Support worker. Short sentences. I write Bio in.

“Donald Trump Will Be The Next President of The United States Again”

According to Frank Amedia, appearing on Jim Bakkers show in America. God has given him permission to say that “Donald Trump Will Be The Next President of The United States Again”.

Does this suggest that the fight for the next US election has already began? If so, is the tactic to say something along the lines of “God wants Trump to be president”, enough times that people accept it as truth?

Married. Dad.

Blogger / WordPress / Email List Guy.

Photographer.

Support worker. Short sentences. I write Bio in.