Do You Want To DANCE WITH JESUS???

Is dancing not your thing?

Do you have two left feet?

If you have the option to dance, are you more likely to be found at the back of the hall watching everyone else?

Do you need Jesus in your DANCING LIFE?

Apparently the Dances include: the Water Walk, the Temptation Tango, the Judas Hustle, and The Apostolic Conga.

Find it over at Amazon.

(Affiliate link)

Christian VR apps That HAVE to be made

A while back, I got my hands on a free pair of Google cardboard VR glasses. While a bit clunky, they are still a fab way to transform your smartphone into a Virtual Reality headset.

A bit clunky, but quite a cheap way of bringing some sort of Virtual Reality experience into the home.

Trying it out, got me thinking. If there were a series of Christian VR apps, what would that look like?

Here’s the Christian Virtual Reality that Sofa would like to see…

The stable. Experience the birth of Jesus in full immersive VR. Hear Mary’s birthing pains, see the confusion on the cattles faces, and watch Joseph faint.
A Mega Church App. Don’t go to a Mega Church. Stay at home, and feel the atmosphere without smelling other peoples sweat.
The Church Volunteer. Get an insight into volunteering at church without any need for preemptive commitment.
The Longest Prayer. We know that Jonah was swallowed by a big fish. But what did he see in the big fish? What did he do? Hear Jonahs cry to the Lord, as you see the inside of the fish from Jonahs point of view.
Full on March. Now you can also march around the city of Jericho.
Full immersive adult baptism game. Hit the button as you go underwater… to ensure you come back up again.
Missed Lunch. Get an in depth view of Daniel and The Lions Den. From the lions prospective.
The Church Volunteer Coordinator. Feel the panic, and have first hand perspective of what happens when all the volunteers stay at home, and try to volunteer via VR glasses.
Crucifixion. The Viewers Experience. Put on your VR glasses and be transported to the original Good Friday! Enjoy!

Have you got any further ideas?

“Donald Trump Will Be The Next President of The United States Again”

According to Frank Amedia, appearing on Jim Bakkers show in America. God has given him permission to say that “Donald Trump Will Be The Next President of The United States Again”.

Does this suggest that the fight for the next US election has already began? If so, is the tactic to say something along the lines of “God wants Trump to be president”, enough times that people accept it as truth?

How to Heat a Christian Home

Every now and then a colder night comes along and reminds us of a simple fact of life. Its still not Summer yet, and the heating gets turned up.

But how should a Christian heat their home? We have a few ideas…

  1. Have a hot mug of Church Coffee. There’s not much taste but you’ll have heat your home if you bring enough home.
  2. Get home group over, and arrange to meet in the smallest room you have. The combined body heat, will at least warm your room up.
  3. Invite the deaconate over. The hot air will warm your home up. For weeks.
  4. Cook for EVERYONE in church. The heat from your cooker will at least warm your kitchen up. But it may also melt any chocolate you have.
  5. Spend your days and nights doing as many exercise routines that you can, you’ll be shattered, but you will probably feel warmer for it!
  6. Pews. Fire Place? Just saying…?
  7. Pray for fire to fall from heaven… and for it to fall in a safe and accurate way. Accurate, because you probably don’t want your home to burn down, due to an access amount of heavenly fire.
  8. Use those left over Bible study notes as fuel for the fire.
  9. Spend long enough watching this on your TV…

The Easter 2018 OutRage List

If Easter and Christmas have something in common, well they both have a lot in common – but as they care both Christian holidays. As such, both seasons seem to have moments of Christian outrage associated with them.

It’s a long time before Easter, but the sofa has already picked up on Twitter outrage about Easter.

So here’s the start of Easter 2018 outrage list. A list of things that Christians have got / get outraged about during Easter this year.

This list is expected to be updated.

Bethel Church and The Glory Cloud

It appears this has been happening at The Bethel Church in America…

Interesting…

Its late (whilst I’m typing this). But I cant help but think that it would make an awesome blog series, if I was to travel around the world seeing stuff like this.

Anyone got a fortune they would like to give me?