What Do Christians Do When Bored

Being A Bored Christian

Sometimes. When inspiration leaves us. Boredom strikes.  Yes, just like everyone else. Christians get bored. And not just during sermons.

Possibly during a period of illness, its not unusual to feel bored at times. At one point, (not when bored), Sofa did some research into what happens when Christians are bored.

Here is the Church Sofa list of 10 Things Christians Do When Bored*.

  1. Read all the bible plans on YouVersion.
  2. Build forts with leftover paper Bible studies.
  3. Artistically write Bible verses on sheets of paper.
  4. Email all the missionaries, (and any other random people associated with their church), to encourage and ask for prayer requests.
  5. Redecorate the local church office.
  6. Ponder / pray / day dream about what vulnerable people you could volunteer to work with… Never get round to asking for information from the right places.
  7. Turn on God TV*
  8. Download ALL THE SERMONS, from your church website. Email the preachers your personal critique.
  9. Actually sit down and write some new material for their Church blog.
  10. Turn off God TV*.

Have you got any to add?

*With apologies to God TV.

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America! You Have a New Social Network Incoming…

America! It looks like you have a new social network incoming called USA.Life.

(I realise that a social network online is generally to be used by people on the internet, but theres something about this that feels a little American focused).

Perhaps its the Pro-America algorithm?

USA.Life Social Network

Or maybe its something about the banner on its website…

Check out the USA.Life website for more information (, and a video that seems to have disabled embedding).

Are you tempted to sign up to USA.Life?

(h/t to Christian Nightmares)

 

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A Good Day to Wear This?

Welcome to one of the special days of the year.

No not Christmas.

Not Easter.

But May 4th (as in “be with you”).

So bearing in mind, every Star Wars fan is occasionally a little bit Jedi, is May 4th, a good day to be wearing something like this?

Available from Amazon.co.uk. (Affiliate link)

I’m thinking about rewatching Rogue One.

How about you?

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Do You Want To DANCE WITH JESUS???

Is dancing not your thing?

Do you have two left feet?

If you have the option to dance, are you more likely to be found at the back of the hall watching everyone else?

Do you need Jesus in your DANCING LIFE?

Apparently the Dances include: the Water Walk, the Temptation Tango, the Judas Hustle, and The Apostolic Conga.

Find it over at Amazon.

(Affiliate link)

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Christian VR apps That HAVE to be made

A while back, I got my hands on a free pair of Google cardboard VR glasses. While a bit clunky, they are still a fab way to transform your smartphone into a Virtual Reality headset.

A bit clunky, but quite a cheap way of bringing some sort of Virtual Reality experience into the home.

Trying it out, got me thinking. If there were a series of Christian VR apps, what would that look like?

Here’s the Christian Virtual Reality that Sofa would like to see…

The stable. Experience the birth of Jesus in full immersive VR. Hear Mary’s birthing pains, see the confusion on the cattles faces, and watch Joseph faint.
A Mega Church App. Don’t go to a Mega Church. Stay at home, and feel the atmosphere without smelling other peoples sweat.
The Church Volunteer. Get an insight into volunteering at church without any need for preemptive commitment.
The Longest Prayer. We know that Jonah was swallowed by a big fish. But what did he see in the big fish? What did he do? Hear Jonahs cry to the Lord, as you see the inside of the fish from Jonahs point of view.
Full on March. Now you can also march around the city of Jericho.
Full immersive adult baptism game. Hit the button as you go underwater… to ensure you come back up again.
Missed Lunch. Get an in depth view of Daniel and The Lions Den. From the lions prospective.
The Church Volunteer Coordinator. Feel the panic, and have first hand perspective of what happens when all the volunteers stay at home, and try to volunteer via VR glasses.
Crucifixion. The Viewers Experience. Put on your VR glasses and be transported to the original Good Friday! Enjoy!

Have you got any further ideas?

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“Donald Trump Will Be The Next President of The United States Again”

According to Frank Amedia, appearing on Jim Bakkers show in America. God has given him permission to say that “Donald Trump Will Be The Next President of The United States Again”.

Does this suggest that the fight for the next US election has already began? If so, is the tactic to say something along the lines of “God wants Trump to be president”, enough times that people accept it as truth?

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How to Heat a Christian Home

Every now and then a colder night comes along and reminds us of a simple fact of life. Its still not Summer yet, and the heating gets turned up.

But how should a Christian heat their home? We have a few ideas…

  1. Have a hot mug of Church Coffee. There’s not much taste but you’ll have heat your home if you bring enough home.
  2. Get home group over, and arrange to meet in the smallest room you have. The combined body heat, will at least warm your room up.
  3. Invite the deaconate over. The hot air will warm your home up. For weeks.
  4. Cook for EVERYONE in church. The heat from your cooker will at least warm your kitchen up. But it may also melt any chocolate you have.
  5. Spend your days and nights doing as many exercise routines that you can, you’ll be shattered, but you will probably feel warmer for it!
  6. Pews. Fire Place? Just saying…?
  7. Pray for fire to fall from heaven… and for it to fall in a safe and accurate way. Accurate, because you probably don’t want your home to burn down, due to an access amount of heavenly fire.
  8. Use those left over Bible study notes as fuel for the fire.
  9. Spend long enough watching this on your TV…

Married. Dad.

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Support worker. Short sentences. I write Bio in.