10 Things To Do When You Really Don’t Want To Go To Church

We all get moments like this, at least we hope it isn’t just us. But sometimes there is something we just really don’t want to do: go to Church. Please find below our ten top tips on what to do in this situation. And please remember, as always, that we cannot be held responsible if any of these tips end up with you either going to hospital, losing your job, dying, being molested by squirrels, or anything else you might find unpleasant, oh and going to church.
  1. Stay in bed
  2. Consider playing football…
  3. Sit on the sofa, watch match of the day again and drink a beer (we know it’s early, but you do get wine at church…)
  4. “Something for the Weekend” / “T4”
  5. Its a sunny morning. Get outside. Enjoy it.
  6. *Snooze*
  7. Watch an online church service, on your laptop, while in bed.
  8. Make use of that gym membership you paid for ages ago
  9. Turn up for church for coffee at the end and pretend that you’d been there the whole time (please note: you may need to read the notice sheet from last week just in case someone questions you about the sermon i.e. the preacher)
  10. Go to church
Any comments on the above?

Hurt Yourself?

Fallen over?

Got over excited while chopping food?

Not paying attention while doing something arty?

Well these may help:

Possibly better then your average plaster…possibly…

Buy them here.

Weekly RoundUp: The Bon Jovi Edition

Its been a mad week, with lots of comment – with the images to match:

Dear Everyone.

Dear Everyone,

I here by give notice that I am copyrighting the word “Doctrine”. This copyright covers any use of the “Doctrine” in any title of anything anywhere.

If you do decide to carry on using the word “Doctrine”, I would expect to be paid each time you use the said word.

You may or may not receive a cease and desist letter, if this does not happen.

Yours in churchy love.

Team Sofa

Have the above explained to you here; I believe this is waiting to be verified… but does anyone remember the Steelroots saga?

Buy Mark Driscolls “Doctrine” book here.

(EDIT – 23rd October: In the Interests of Fair Play – Here’s a response from The Mars Hill)

(EDIT – 25th October: Looks like this tea cup storm has come to an end. A response from Pastor Scott Hagan, Mars Hill Community (Sacramento), and a report from Christian Post)

I say this is a storm in a tea cup… It just seems a shame that the first move seemed to be to call in the expensive lawyers…

10 Moments from #cnmac11

10 moments…

10 Notes or tweets from the day…

10 snippets of conversation…

Hopefully something here to make you think… wonder… or indeed… ponder…

  • Creativity delights God, but we can never forget to keep our motives in check.
  • It’s easy to make cheap shots, but it is cheap…
  • Share your life online. Someone may be better off because of it.
  • Did we all just buy into the hype about #notw are we really invested in social justice and social change? (With thanks to @Goannatree)
  • “The future is about Emotion” – Patrick Dixon
  • Is a “digital sabbath” a “relationship sabbath”?
  • 10 online rules Pray, listen, respect, encourage, take time, share, be welcoming, be grateful, be yourself, and love. (More here)
  •  If you’re serious about online engagement, it is a 365 day commitment – @digitalnun
  • We don’t want noise. We want Truth
  • If Change happens at the edge of the radar, do we look there or do we just stick with what we know?
Did you see or hear anything that stood out? Please feel free to share.

10 Games To play At #cnmac12

If you ever anything like me, it doesn’t matter how interesting a speaker is, sometimes your mind does wonder during a presentation.  Or you may have a moment or two of downtime between parts of the day.

If this happens to you – try these games. Please note you dont have to be at a Christian Media conference for many of these games to actually work.

  1.  Try and work out the percentage of Mac to Windows laptops in any given room.
  2. Congratulate anyone using a Linux operating system.
  3. Compare avatars to actual faces. Does anyone really look like their avatar?
  4. Do those premier signs still have photos of various cathedrals on them? If so try and work out which city each one is found in.
  5. Spot if anyone is sulking because they didn’t get a wifi slot.
  6. Tell @DigitalNun that she is by far the coolest nun you’ve come across.
  7. Encourage the conference presenter to organise a Mexican wave in the main lecture hall – via The Twitterfall
  8. How many vicars are there in the room? / How many vicars are there in disguise?
  9. Play hunt the person you want to meet up with, via clues on Twitter. Love the fact he greats you like an old friend.
  10. Count the amount of gadgets.
For the record – these games were made up on the train journey home, not during any presentations!!!
*The Church Sofa team are not responsible for any odd looks or people questioning your sanity if you do try any of the above out.