The #howtosurviveachurchAGM List

So you’re there, at the Church Annual General Meeting, its ten minutes in and you’re already planning your exit strategy… What do you do to escape the meeting… What do you do… The list we came up with:

  1. Gnaw your own legs off, or dig a tunnel…
  2. Arrange for the youthclub to turn up half way through the AGM – pop out to deal with it!
  3. Light the thurible under the smoke detector (be careful with this… the meeting may be postponed until another time)
  4. Volunteer to help count the votes… resist the temptation to tamper with the results (200 Votes for the Church Cat to join the PCC may seem funny, but apparently isn’t acceptable behaviour…)
  5. Create make believe child… that you need to rush out and look after… because your make believe child is crying…
  6. Volunteer your mate sat next to you for things when they’re not paying attention.

With thanks to @Gerrarrdus for joining in the game with some of the above suggestions… just a shame my reception died… Please feel free to tweet or comment any of your suggestions!

The Bible Without God is Like…

Inspired by Bible for atheists – like lager without the alcohol?, and Jane Chelliah’s comment that went along side it, here is our list of comparisions of what the Bible is like without God:

The Bible Without God is Like…

  • Cheese and Crackers – without the Cheese.
  • Fish and Chips without the fish…
  • Cheese with no milk…
  • Wine without grapes…
  • Radio with no signal.
  • Doctor Who without a TARDIS.
  • Curry without Curry Powder (h/t Jane Chelliah)
  • Back To The Future without the Delorean
  • Omelette without eggs.
  • Coke without sugar or caffeine (have you tasted sugar free / decaff Coke?)

Is there any more we could use?

Bible for atheists – like lager without the alcohol?

Loving this from Channel 4

“In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and avoid, and darkness was on the face of the deep.”

With those words begins the best-selling book in history, the Holy Bible. Sacred to millions – a basis for faith.

But what if God were removed from it altogether? The Good Book is one philosopher’s attempt to write a secular bible – laid out in the same way but drawing on thousands of years of non-religious writing from the likes of Homer, Aristotle, Baudelaire, and Darwin.

Even someone as well-connected as George Pitcher, the Archbishop of Canterbury’s secretary for public affairs, speaking in a personal capacity, said: “We welcome it. God, as I understand God, is big enough to take insults, ridicule, being ignored – anything of that nature. So we must push the limits of our faith.”

But he continued: “Taking God out of the Bible? It’s rather like alcohol-free lager. You ask yourself: what’s the point?”

Bit of a shame that AC Grayling misses the point a little.

Read the full article here.

Weekly RoundUp: The Carling theology Edition

Here’s this weeks round up:

  • Our Text for today – The Big Bible looks at the use of smartphones to read the Bible both in and out of Church.
  • Jesus Needs New PR looks at what Christian Fundamentalism leaves behind.
  • Glen asks what a real man looks like.
  • Jon asks if the Church should be competing or supporting their local community.
  • Phil Ritchie discovers Carling theology (I’m more of an ale fan myself – but thats missing the point).
  • And finally… Can you do nothing for two minutes?